Questfallen
by Poetique
Summary: Okay, I was never one to admit that I was afraid of dying. I mean, sure, it's weird and creepy and everyone hates it, but I never really actually feared it. Now I know how very wrong I was. COMPLETE!
1. Prologue

**A/N: And so the long awaited Questfallen returns! This is the eposide of Lily, James, the whole gang! Welcome to new readers of the fanfic and old alike. I originally put up this story last year around July-August, however, it got deleted on my old account (And So The Wolf Howls). Therefore, I am reposting it. Yet another year of school and such has therefore making me a better writer- so do not fret if you don't see things exactly the same. Of course I'm correcting spelling and adding new things. Also, my computer does not seem to recall the last two or three chapters I have of this thing, so the ending will be as much as I can remember it the same, and yet different. If you remember it from before, please email me all you can remember! That will be greatly appreciated. And I hope you all enjoy this! **

Okay, I was never one to admit that I was afraid of dying. I mean, sure, it's weird and creepy and everyone hates it- but I never really actually feared it. Now I know how very wrong I was.

It's been sixteen years. Sixteen miserable years by my lonesome. Just floating around, lost, you could say. Does this happen to everybody? I don't know. But I know I don't like it. And what about my family? Are they alright? Did he get them? The questions bubble up inside of me, waiting for me to explode. Yet I can't. I don't even have a body anymore.

I remember dying, or a little bit of it, or what I thought was dying. I remember screaming, the green light, never leaving my eyes, Harry crying, and _him _laughing. I wasn't dead immediately. I saw him shrink into a puddle onto the floor, his eyes never leaving mine, and for a moment I saw that he didn't mean all he was doing, although he was, indeed, the most evil person on the planet- Muggle world or no.

Harry's forehead was bloody. That's all I remember. Then, one could say I "died."

A few bare seconds after my death I wasn't at my house anymore, Harry wasn't with me. I was in a place- The Department of Mysteries, I'm sure of it. And then, suddenly I walked into something, and then I was transported into a black hole that I am currently stuck in. There was a notice on the wall. It read that in order to have my death in peace, I needed to use my brain. Whatever that meant. Please. Was this some trick Dumbledore was playing on me to see if I was ready when _he _did come to call? But everything seemed so real.

Well, it's been sixteen years. And I'm still in the same mess.

I don't know what I look like. I've looked down to see if I can catch a glimpse of my legs, my body, my hands, but I see nothing. That's me. Nothing. I don't know why I can't see me. Even when I was wrapped in James's invisibility cloak I could see an outline of myself that no one else could see (unless you were Mad-Eye, of course), but now I'm just, as stated before, _nothing. _Am I still Lily Evans Potter? Or am I just a floating brain? I don't get hungry anymore- and I don't recall blinking or sleeping, but I do think, and I can move, and I can see.

This is the strangest thing by far that has ever happened to me.

**A/N: I suppose, unfortunately, I do not own the Harry Potter series as well.**

**Damn.**


	2. Harry's Birthday

**A/N: Hrm… no reviews? Well, that's upsetting. Anyways, here's the next chapter. For those of you that might remember last time, even though I'm not exactly sure anyone is reading this soft laughter you remember that I posted a new chapter daily. And now I shall definitely do it- since I have my chapters already written and not just planned out :-) **

**So enjoy! And I do not own anything of Harry Potter or his world. When you get that kind of money though to own it, please contact me ******

Today is Harry's would-be seventeenth birthday.

And I am not proud to say I missed mostly all of his childhood.

Somehow, I know he's alive. I see him, he's with a female and a male- no, scratch that, two females and three males, I just noticed another three people with him. Two of the males look exactly alike, they remind me a bit of James and Sirius in their day, I can see troublemakers when I spot them. The other one has the same colored hair as the other two, a reddish tint- I like it. It's a bit like my own shade. Well, I'm not so sure anymore, but I know it was once upon a time.

There are two females as well. One of them has bushy brown hair. I feel my "hand" jerk to comb it, even though I know I can't. But other than that she does seem extremely pretty. She's hovering a bit close to the one other male that's not Harry that doesn't look the same, they are holding hands and smiling at one another. My heart bleeds. I miss James.

The other female reminds me entirely of me. She has red hair, I can tell that the males are her brothers. But for some reason she won't look at Harry, she stays her eyes focused on the bushy haired girl and says something.

Then my vision is broken as I hear a rustle- I really do, though, I'm not just dreaming it. My heart skips a beat. James? Could it possibly be?

_Don't get your hopes up, Lily, _a voice cooing in my ear says, _It's been sixteen years from hell. Do you honestly think that James is going to barge into your little personal black hole and yell, "Lily! I'm home!" just like that stupid Muggle show you used to watch?_

I chuckled at that. I remember the show _I Love Lucy_, I even named my first pet rat Lucy after it. No one in the magical world understood why, of course, but it was my own secret and I loved it.

"Lily?"

I whipped around, well sort of, you know what I mean. I saw nothing. The voice was familiar. I couldn't put it to it's name, but I knew it wasn't James, and definitely not little Harry- unless his birthday cake was poisonous, and somehow a mash of flour and whipped topping managed to do what _he _could not.

"Yes?" I called out.

The voice seemed to get nearer. I could even hear footsteps coming closer, inching closer. "Yes?" I tried again, rather annoyed, yet excitement burst out of my lungs. Was I saved from this wretched hell I'd been in?

"I thought I would find you here."

Now I knew exactly who the voice was. Was my original theory correct? So this was a trick of his? Oh, Dumbledore, if this was a trick…

I felt two hands envelop my body, or so it seemed. They embraced me. A hug? I hadn't gotten a hug in _ages. _My body felt numb. I don't think I remember exactly how to react.

"Prof- Professor Dumbledore!" I nearly cried. After a few moments of just gazing at him, I asked him the all- knowing question.

"Do you have any idea where the hell we are?"

Even though I couldn't see Professor Dumbledore, I knew that he had smiled one of his all-knowing smiles. One of those, "sit down, Lily, let me make all of your thoughts seem stupid and explain everything." Don't get me wrong, I love Dumbledore like a father. But it's so rather annoying when he goes on and on about subjects and makes me feel like I'm a little schoolgirl again.

"I do have theories, Lily." Dumbledore replied. "I take it you haven't heard of anyone, or anything?"

"No," I replied. "Not since the accident."

"We have stumbled upon something that no other witch or wizard has," Dumbledore said. "A shared portal."

I raised my eyebrow. Or, whatever. You know what I mean.

"Portal to what exactly?"

Dumbledore pondered about that for a few seconds. Butterflies flapped around in my stomach- was I leaving here at last? At long last I could go home, I could see Harry, I could once again be with James.

"I thought that you would have figured that out by now, Lily. The portal to death."

A million questions seemed to flood out of my mouth at once. I racked through my brain- oh which one do I ask? How Dumbledore got here? Why was I here? What is this? Does everyone go to places like these? How do I get out?

"You mean to say, we're not dead?" My voice sounded scratchy. I hadn't talked for years, and it felt good to. Still, it was going to take some getting used to.

"Ah, we are neither dead nor alive."

Okay, back up Professor Dumbledore. How am I not dead _or _alive? My brain went crazy. _Ah, we are neither dead nor alive. _A chill ran up and down my spine. I was right. I was- nothing. Nothing at all. And yet, was I everything?

I was never religious. Never, in my entire life. My family would go to services and I would stay home, well, witchcraft is indeed frowned upon in most religions anyways. Petunia was religious, though, always. She and my parents, they'd go all the time and register Petunia in everything there. The only thing remotely close to me practicing my religion was Christmas, just as all the Catholics at Hogwarts observed Christmas. (I say this because I had a few Jewish and Muslim friends, too). Yet here comes in Dumbledore, and I swear on anything he was the closest thing to God I have ever seen, my rock that knows all the answers. If only James were here.

"You seem to be confused, Lily."

I nodded.

"Professor Dumbledore, are you- I mean, how did you-?"

"I died, somewhat."

Harry isn't safe. No one is safe. I have come to that conclusion. Dumbledore? Dead? The greatest Albus Dumbledore? The only one he, Voldemort, ever feared? Dead. Yet, at the same time right before me.

"You see, Lily, no one is truly gone unless someone believes in them strongly. And us two, people believe in us strongly that we are still alive. As for me, I can not say who believes that I am alive. I do have my theories. And as for you, I think that Lord Voldemort still believes you to be alive."

I almost coughed at that one. Good joke, Dumbledore, good joke. Isn't the killing curse supposed to, hmm, I don't know… _kill? _No, I was supposed to have stuffed purple bunnies chucked at my head, wasn't I?

Dumbledore seemed to notice my sarcastic tones towards him. He cleared his throat, I had just noticed that it was getting raspy, and placed what felt like a hand on my shoulder. It reminded me of the old days when James would come visit me in the girl's dormitory and I was sick to help me feel better, something that "Madam Promfrey could never heal." Yet there was something strange with that hand. It was hard, and carried a disgusting feel. Something must have pained Dumbledore, because he immediately jerked it back and put the other hand on my shoulder, which felt like a person's hand ought to be.

"Lily, James isn't here, in this portal, because Voldemort saw him being killed. It is confirmed to Voldemort that James is dead. You do realize that, correct? As Voldemort proceeded on to kill you and Harry, his curse went astray, and as some could say, backfired upon him. He never actually saw you die. You sacrificed yourself for Harry to live, but to Voldemort, he has reason to believe that the thought of sacrifice alone is just as good as the actual sacrifice itself."

My head was reeling. My death stunt somehow fooled Lord Voldemort? Impossible. I really was dead- or as Dumbledore said as a more accurate definition- not alive.

"And Harry?" I asked, although my previous thoughts had already confirmed he was alive, "he's still, well, there, isn't he?"

Dumbledore seemed to nod (I could hear the swishing of his chin, bobbing up and down, I learned to retire hand gestures years ago). "Yes, Harry is alive. And if I am not mistaken, he is a very good- hearted boy, and I do believe that today is his seventeenth birthday?"  
"If it's July 31st," I answered. Dumbledore nodded. "Yes, I believe it is."

An awkward silence ruptured between the two of us. I could feel it rippling, brewing, I could feel it around us. However corny and romance novel-ish that may sound. (I was never one for romance novels, but I couldn't help reading some of Petunia's novels when we were young).

"So, how did you come across my- er, this portal?" I asked. Seemed like a good question. After all, how _did _Dumbledore come here?

"It's been a little over a month, and I was trying to find you, trying for ways to get out of my then- current portal to the next. I could apparate myself to other portals, but it was trickier when someone was actually inside. The current inhabitant had to be wasting away in the portal for a few years, and I had to have known them at some point- which is quite hard. Forgive me for sounding too vain, but I do believe that most people know me, whereas I try but fail to do as such. You matched the perfect description upon the three rules I was given, and I knew that after a while I would, indeed, stumble upon your humble little portal."

I nodded. There goes Dumbledore, as usual, doing one of those "Hi Lily, you're stupid, let me explain" talks. And I was stupid. I had never, ever thought of apparating. But if it was hard for Dumbledore to find someone, it would be especially harder for me. Being a Muggleborn I had no childhood (childhood as in pre-eleven years of age) witches or wizards as friends, and then as soon as I graduated Hogwarts James and I went into hiding- well, not as soon as, but close enough.

"We have two options. We are just as close to death as we are to being alive. Somehow, together, we have to find our way out of the portal to either one of those fates. And Lily, anything, anything, is better than what we are in right now."

I shuddered.

_Anything is better than what we are in right now._

I truly have been living in hell for sixteen years.

**A/N: As promised, next chapter up tomorrow! And please, if you don't want an upset writer, review :) Thanks!**


	3. Lily and James Montage

**A/N: Okay, okay. I know that I already posted today. However, I have to finish posting this fanfic before _Deathly Hallows _(which, I am so excited to say comes out in seventeen days) debunks all of these rumours, i.e., what happens behind the veil, or what happened to Lily and James. So I can post two a day, can't I? And I combined two chapters that were used before separately because they were short anyways- so why not?**

**A great big thank you goes out to all of my reviewers! You make me believe that people are actually reading this and not just clicking the buttons on accident. Thank you so much.**

**And I do not own Harry Potter, Lily, James, or any of the characters. Yet in my fantasy world where I somehow find a way to marry Draco, I shall then own him.**

For a while it was just me and Dumbledore- us two sitting in the portal all by our lonesomes. Of course I loved Dumbledore. Who didn't love Dumbledore? He was just the greatest wizard of all time- devoted to do all things good and was one of the few people I've ever met that could admit his faults. But in this time, in post-death post-living, or vis versa time, I could really see that Dumbledore had no friends, and he didn't know how to act with me. Nicholas Flamel would always smile behind Dumbledore, that toothy smile, but he and Dumbledore were more like business partners. As for the rest of the Order Of The Phoenix, we were all so young. Dumbledore could have easily been our parents or grandparents. He couldn't really call us his friends. He'd tell us information, give us missions, and then leave to school. That would be Dumbledore.

I also wonder if Dumbledore ever loved anyone. I had James- James had me. Sirius had his fair share of girlfriends, as well as Remus and all the rest. But now that I look back, Dumbledore didn't have anybody. Maybe that's why he was always so noble. But then why would he be so pro-love? Maybe he experienced a loss of a love.. that seemed probable. There were always rumours about him and McGonagall, anyways. Then again, those rumours had been from Patrice Delaney- and she ran off with the editor of _The Quibbler_- you can't really say she's the most reliable source in the world.

When Dumbledore isn't broadly announcing his amazing intelligence, he can be a pretty dull guy. I asked him everything, sure. What Harry looks like, who his friends were, what house he was in, how he lived with my dearest, loving sister. I learned all about Voldemort coming back- Sirius's death, the Triwizard Tournament, updates on Quidditch. Last I'd know in Quidditch, the Brave Beavers were triumphantly undefeated- Dumbledore now says they live on scraps and beg for money.

Dumbledore also wanted to know quite a deal about me, too. He asked me if I had known that Peter Pettigrew was my secret keeper or if James had changed it without me knowing. Of course I knew. Would my husband lie to me for something like that? Yet then I reasoned ihe asked probably because Dumbledore was hurt we didn't tell him. It just wasn't safe to tell anyone, it's not like Peter would refuse if they tortured him and if that leaked out- well, I would be here. I regretted that, of course, once I "died" and Sirius was sent to Azkaban unfairly. He asked me how I've been. _Oh, yes, Dumbledore, everything is just peachy. I've been sitting here, just chilling, sipping on some freshly brewed pumpkin juice and eating chocolate frogs. I do have to say, my collection has grown quite big over the time. My head still hurts from those purple bunnies that came flying at my head, though. I mean, one purple bunny is pain enough. But five? Seriously, what _was _Voldemort thinking? _

Yet after a while our company began to grow stale, and Dumbledore and I would twitter uncomfortably. There were long moments where we'd pause and stretch, even though we couldn't see one another. The portal, however, was clearly big enough for the two of us _and _Dumbledore's beard, which, if I remember correctly, was rather extensive. Until now, my impression was that it was rather small.

"Are all portals like this one?" I asked Dumbledore, slicing through all silences past. Well, the question wasn't entirely stupid. Dumbledore already told me that he has not come across anyone he could get in contact with inside a portal, but that didn't mean that they were all the same. And I did want to know. After all, this was my doom I had been living in, my personal hell, my life (in a matter of speaking) burning and crashing down all around me.

"No, some are different," Dumbledore replied with what I could imagine as a toothy smile. "Some you can actually see yourself- and I'd assume other people too. Some you can see the outside world with a strong magical charm- and some you can't even move in, you're just stuck to think."

Great. Just great. I've been given the shittiest portal out of them all. _Thanks a lot, portal choosers who designate fate, _I thought, _Love ya too. Lily sends all her regards!_

It's amazing how Dumbledore knows so much. I mean, haven't I, Lily Evans Potter, been in a portal way longer than he? And how does he seem to know, just dang _everything? _I mean, I could ask that guy what the meaning of life is and he'd bolt into a two hour long conversation.

Of course, when you're dead-alive, two hours are nothing. Yet still, as I've said on many occasions, I am not a school girl, thank you. I am, or was, Lily Evans Potter. Or now… perhaps I'm just Lily Evans. After all, isn't that the line, "_til death do us part?_"

**JAMES- BEHIND THE VEIL**

I dug one of my, as I would say, amazingly muscular arms into my hair and tried to flatten it out while laughing to myself. My hair was wet and good, I loved it. I started to run across the field, just like I felt when I was in Hogwarts, running past playing Quidditch. It felt so good. It was times like these that I really, deeply and truly wished that Lily was with me.

That question paralyzed me a lot. Lily, my lovely, beautiful wife- where was she? People who had died in the past sixteen years had told me they had never seen her. As cruel and heartless as it seemed, I loved it when people died- then I could get to see them again and get an update on everything happening in the world. I knew all about my son, Harry, from my best friend Sirius- who only recently joined our world. I remember it so well, that day when Sirius came.

I had been talking with one of the Prewetts- Fabian or Gideon, or perhaps even both, I'm not too sure. We were all talking about the war, what we thought it had gone to. We were chatting of how the Prewetts' nephew and my son are best friends, Ron and Harry. It wasn't that interesting, but it was something. We had learned so much from young Cedric Diggory, a poor boy who's life was cut early- even shorter than that of mine and the Prewetts'. Basically everything I knew about Harry came from Cedric- he was one of the only few people who had known him well enough that had died (besides a Professor Quirrell, who seemed so bloody stupid I wouldn't even talk with that ruddy git). He seemed nice enough, and certainly admired Harry. Suddenly, however, on that day I was reuinted with my best friend, the wind seemed to rustle.

"Ah, I think that's a new arrival here," Prewett said in response to the wind. He pretended to smell the air to score a few laughs. I laughed along with him and his brother, although I didn't really find it that funny.

After a while the laughter and the wind howling stopped, Fabian, Gideon, and I continued our chat and game of Wizard's Chess (I think I recall it being both of them present at this time). It's amazing how being dead is so alike to being alive, minus the part of breathing. If you ask me, it's much better. You get all the benefits of being dead like knowing what happens and being able to know what was going on in the real world while at the same time being able to enjoy any luxury you could possibly desire. Well, except for one; Lily.

But there was something strange with this new arrival that we were supposed to be getting. I could feel the prescense of someone I once knew, someone I once loved and cherished as my own brother; could it possibly be Sirius? I apparated to the back area of the veil- and sure enough, I found my best friend laying over, his eyes tired.

I think that was the most unique case of dead-itis that I've ever seen. Sirius's head was completely immerged in the veil, yet from his knees downwards he was in the living world, it was so strange. I didn't know what to do. I could either push Sirius back into the world of the living, only to die again, possibly seconds later because he was so weak, or bring him behind the veil. It was such a bewildering decision, deciding the fate of my best friend. In the end I could see that the color from his legs behind the veil were beginning to lose their glow- I had almost forgotten how living people had a natural glow to them. I dragged Sirius into the veil.

I looked through the veil, however, to see how Sirius had gotten here in the first place. As I looked out I could see a great deal of people- all of them were Unspeakables in the Department of Mysteries? It didn't seem so. Some of the people looked no more than sixteen years old! It was then that I uttered a small gasp- I thought I had seen me, but as I looked past it was my son, Harry. I felt a pang of guilt as I took away Sirius from him, but I couldn't change anything now. I wish I could have waved to him or gotten his attention. But then he might go quite mad, and I couldn't be responsible for that.

Fabian and Gideon rushed to my side soon after I had found Sirius.

"Merlin's beard," Gideon uttered. "Sirius Black?"

Sirius looked old, much older than Gideon, Fabian, and I were. We were all around the same age, but Sirius looked in his forties- and it was strange to think that that was how old I was, not twenty nine anymore. Fabian then nudged towards Sirius to awaken him, and offered him a bit of pumpkin juice. Sirius sat up and stared at me.

"Harry?" he asked, his first dead word spoken. I shook my head, combing my jet black hair back with my index finger.

"It's James, mate," I replied with a smile in my face. I punched Sirius's shoulder and Sirius broke out into a sheepish smile, yet confused all the same. I could see a tint of sadness hidden behind it too.

"James?" Sirius asked, in a more bewildered tone. I placed my arms around him.

"It's me," I replied.

For a while Sirius and I embraced, when I noticed he was crying. And as I saw more of his tears flood by I knew that Sirius was real- that it was really my best friend back from the- well, back from the living.

"Is Lily here?" Sirius asked me.

I shuddered.

"I haven't seen Lily for sixteen years, mate. Sixteen bloody years I've been without her. And no one else knows where she is, but she'll turn up here, won't she? I mean, it's not like she has another choice."

Well, it's not like Lily can not die- it was agreed she was dead, we were buried together, weren't we after all? But why do I have this strange feeling that something truly bad happened?

**A/N: Review? Thanks!**


	4. Flowers

**A/N: Thanks a bundle to all my reviewers again! I don't think you guys realize how happy you make me to find my mailbox with them :) And thanks for the story alerts and adding to favourites. That's great!**

**Anyways, today we venture into the great Petunia Dursley's mind for a bit. It may sound a bit strange, but this is probably one of the most important chapters in the whole thing so pay attention :)**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own _Harry Potter, _any related characters, the story line of books 1-7, or anything else. But if you own a copy of book seven, please email me and I will want you to tell me all about it :)**

Sometimes when I lie awake in bed for a long time I see Mum's bright face glittering down at me. She stares at me and ruffles with my hair, and I cringe and try to get away. "My little flower," Mum says and continues cooing over me. I always shudder.

Vernon and I disowned my family years ago, before we were even wed. My family was a family of four- my mother, my father, and, dare I say, my sister. Lovely, precious, _Lily. _Little-miss "I'm the good sister and can get away with whatever I want, including being a witch freak and marrying off myself to a wretched man named James Potter." Was it James? I'm not so sure- it could have been Jimmy, or John, or Jason, I really don't know anymore- or care, for that matter.

But anyways, this dream is the devil iteself. Mum has been dead for a good many years, since before Dudderkins was born, even. That son of mine. Everyone says that he raises hell no matter where he goes, but he's not a bad boy, he's just misunderstood. I mean, Dudderkins has been through a lot, what with that- that _boy _inhabiting his own stuff and poking around and ruining his life. Vernon and I should have never left that boy in our care. I understand the purpose, and in no way am I one of those Voldybort followers, yet it's not my fault I'm related to _perfect Lily _with her perfect tosh. I don't want to see him dead, but I don't want to have to deal with him either.

Mother never liked Vernon. "Oh, Petunia, darling, I'm sure he's a good man, but don't you think you can do a little better?" she'd say. It was as if she was afraid her blood would curdle if mixed with someone like Vernon's, which I must add, she is very wrong. Dudderkins is a perfect son. I feel pride being at his boxing competitions and cheering from him with Vernon. "That's my son, that's Dudderkins!"

She always loved that Potter boy though. She'd pride Lily all the time- "Oh, he's such a great catch, and he's so adorable too!" Then she and Lily would laugh and coo and play with each other's hair, Lily would turn her hair different colors in excitement and I'd sit and watch with a wrinkled nose. _Yes, great, Lily. You've learned to turn your hair different colors in the past seven years- huge accomplishment, don't you think? Whereas all this time I've been simply dying my hair and it gets the same damn effect. _

But this dream was different- something was different about this dream that I couldn't quite decipher. Mum had said something, something strange.

"Petunia," she had said. I had just noticed that Mum did look like she was dead. In all of my other dreams she was as I remembered her last- complete dressed in a paisely apron and a brown shirt with brown pants.

"Mum." I replied. I was not happy to be dreaming about her again.

"Petunia, I have to tell you something, Lily is in-"

"No," I cut in. "I won't have you talking about that- that _witch _in front of me, mum." With that the dream ended. But as soon as I woke up I lay in bed thinking.

What was mum going to say?

And why should I pay attention?

**LILY- PORTAL**

"Well, are you ready now?"

The voice pierced my ears, and quickly my heart sunk as well. It was then that I noticed I had been listening to nothing Dumbledore was saying- just me, nothing, rummaging thorough my memories. You know how when people are near death their life flashes before them? I remember one day, in third year, mum was driving me to King's Cross Station and almost got into an accident (it was late, and she didn't want me to have to miss the train). She wouldn't stop blinking afterwards. Said it was one of the worst things of her life.

When I died I didn't notice my life flash before me. All I could think about was Harry, bundled up in my arms, and how much I couldn't let him go. I thought of the shrill voice telling me I could live, saying how tempting it was- yet I still chose to be shot with that green light. All these years I always thought of green as good. Green was mother nature. Green was healthy. Green was my eyes. Yet it seemed to have betrayed me at my last moments.

I suppose to make up for this my life flashed before me like a slow movie, a slow roll of film each day I stayed in the portal. Today's portion was the day that James lost his first Quidditch match. I was so cruel to him then, just laughing about as I saw the great Gryffindor chaser deafeated (of course I wanted a Gryffindor victory, but not James Potter victory), and I saw myself laughing as hard as I could while Sirius yelled at me.

"Lily!" He called out. "You're not making him feel any better!"

"Oh yes," I shot back, "and I so want to make the man who I reject four times a day feel better about himself."

Yet Dumbledore's voice told me that I shouldn't harp on the past anymore. It was my time, my fate. I turned around to "look" at the man that was the one Voldemort ever feared.

"Er, yes?" I said more as a question than an answer. Professor Dumbledore chuckled at that, and started pacing. (I could tell because his long beard whipped right over my foot- thank you facial hair).

"Grasp my hand, Lily," Dumbledore said. I was nervous. What was going on? Well, I did trust Dumbledore. If I didn't trust Dumbledore I might as well become a Death Eater, right? Still, why was that a question… I should know or not. Yet still my small hand clutched his, I was afraid of what was happening.

"On my ready, we apparate. I don't think after so long you can apparate by yourself, so you'll need me to."

Right then the feeling of apparation sucked up inside of me, the familiar feeling surfaced- and I laughed. I always remember hating apparation, and I had promised myself I'd never do so after a terrible attempt to apparate into Vernon Dursley's house and make sure my little sister wasn't doing anything dirty. Yet now the feeling made me happy. What was it? It was hope. I was an old dog doing old tricks.

I didn't notice that Dumbledore and I had stopped apparating until I blinked a few times. My eyes hurt. There was something about the place we were in- it was too relaxed, too humble. I went go look at Dumbledore (or what I thought was Dumbledore, I never really lost the habit of looking at someone while speaking) and noticed that I actually could see him. I uttered a small gasp.

Dumbledore looked almost the same since I last saw him. His beard had grown some and seemed whiter, I noticed a bald spot protruding from his head. Dumbledore saw me and smiled. I smiled back. It was such a stange thing, the eyes were.

"I take it you haven't seen what you look like yet?" Dumbledore asked. I shook my head no. Last time I saw myself I was looking in the bathroom mirror, parting my hair to the side, and I was twenty nine. Now I must be almost 45, and surely I looked different. Dumbledore approached a wooden desk, a desk that I had just noticed existed. Whoever lived in this portal once was really lucky. They got all these wonderful luxuries!

Dumbledore pulled out a small mirror from the desk and showed it to me. I picked it up, but decided not to look at it first. I glanced down and saw myself taller, and definitely skinnier. Well, considering I have been anorexic for sixteen years that's not really something I wouldn't expect. Finally I tilted the mirror towards my face and touched it.

I was still Lily, I had red hair (but those dead ends were killer!) and green eyes. I was paler than before, and had a few white hairs, but other than that I didn't look so bad as how I expected myself to be, my nose seemed to be more crooked but other than that I just looked like an old version of myself. I smiled, still staring at myself in the mirror. If Dumbledore hadn't been there, or if he'd have been anywhere else, I would have gladly danced and sung around the desk.

"What is this place?" I asked Dumbledore. Since he apparated here, he obviously had been here before.

"It was Hadrian Thompson's portal. Or so I'm guessing, because I found this file here." Dumbledore crouched down and picked up a file under the desk. The name _Hadrian Thompson _glittered brightly on it with black ink. I opened up the file, however, and found nothing. No other trace of Hadrian Thompson.

"I knew Hadrian, he was a few years my elder, although he died around the age of thirty five," Dumbledore added. I nodded. It was strange, however, to hear of a young death before the time of Voldemort.

"He was killed by a rouge bludger in a Quidditch game," he explained. "One of the only deaths in Quidditch ever recorded."

I nodded once more. Quidditch wasn't really a brutal game, it just depended on who played and played with what. A rogue bludger, for instance, could knock somebody dead before they hit the floor. I gulped, a bit scared.

"What will this teach us?" I asked. My voice was scratchy.

"Well, we might find something here that tells us what Hadrian did to get out."

So there is a way to get out! This Hadrian guy found a way out. I know I can, too.

**A/N: Reviews please? Thanks!**


	5. Questfallen

**A/N: Well, I've gotten a lot of new reviewers, thanks so much!**

**I decided to go ahead and post the next chapter today. I really need to get this done with. Besides, this is a very short chapter because I didn't combine it, although it's one of my very favourites. So please read and review!**

**ALSO: Yes, I have realized that Lily and James died around the age of 22- I didn't know that when I wrote this, but thanks for telling me anyways :)**

**---disclaimer shit inserted here---**

Sirius and I had been at the club today. It's not really a club like in the Muggle World (Lily took me there once, worst time of my life, well, not after I put a rat in the bartender's Vodka, that was quite a story). The club is more of a place where people who were born in the same year meet, kind of like a reunion but not because we might not have ever met before. That's how I know for a fact that Lily isn't here.

We don't really get sunlight behind the veil, but it definitely gets hot and humid, kind of like the weather in Florida. Mum took me down to the United States once, another of those terrible experiences. Let's just say that sharks don't really like it when they get magically driven into a very large steamboat, and the steamboat owners don't really like a gigantic shark flopping all over deck and customers demanding for refunds because their poor son Billy or daughter Sally was crying. And as I can tell you, now was hot. Sirius and I were sweating huge buckets. We constantly complained about the heat until Sirius changed the subject.

"Oh, I hear there's a new arrival," Sirius said causually while pouring himself a glass of butterbeer (people that are dead don't get hungry, but that doesn't mean we can't eat). "Some guy that died a long time ago, but for some reason he's new."

I looked at Sirius. "How?"

Sirius shrugged. "No idea. Why don't you ask him? I think his name is Adrian Thompsant."

Behind us a girl with curly blond hair perked up. I think I remember her from Hogwarts, or someone that looked like her, but she still turned around.

"Hadrian Thompson," the girl corrected Sirius. "His name is Hadrian Thompson. He's my great-great uncle." The girl smiled and continued talking to the rest of her friends, most of which had thick heavy French accents.

A twinkle sparkled in my eye and Sirius laughed at me.

"Oh no," he said. "What are you thinking about?"

"Lily," I replied almost automatically. Most of the time at Hogwarts that's what I would answer, and then Sirius would laugh and Remus would launch himself into a long explanation of why Lily wouldn't date me.

Sirius nodded as if he expected that answer. "Come on, mate, let's go talk to this Hadrian."

Sirius prodded my elbow and I stood up from where I was sitting. At that moment we both apparated to the door where Hadrian was supposed to be, he was first going to get checked up by Doctor Yves (Dr. Yves was one of the first to be behind the veil, since then it's been his job to restore a person's life in the veil after they've already died).

"Hello James, Sirius," Dr. Yves said as soon as Sirius and I approached. "Long time no see. I take it you've heard of this chap, haven't you?"

Sirius and I stared at Dr. Yves, and then looked to the bed where a man was lying. He seemed to be a bit older than me (in dead-years), yet a bit younger than Sirius. We stared at him for a while, our eyes never leaving each other.

Hadrian winked at me and smiled. He had honey brown hair and brown eyes, he reminded me of someone that had gone to Hogwarts and I just didn't really remember at the moment. Still, Hadrian was probably my only shot at finding Lily.

Hadrian got out of bed at that point and sat on it, barely creasing it. He morioned for Sirius and I to sit, which we indeed did, although we creased the sheets more than he. Even though Hadrian and I had never met before I felt a kinship towards him.

"I'm James Potter," I said, my voice firm and clear. Hadrian smiled at me. "Hadrian Thompson," he answered, extending his hand. I noticed his French accent and took his hand, whatever that was supposed to mean. Hadrian smiled that pearly- white celebrity smile.

"You'd like to know what happens when a person dies the hard way?" Hadrian offered. I shrugged.

"I suppose," I replied.

Hadrian nodded.

"It's not an easy thing to do, you know, die the hard way. There's only two escape plans. You can either be rescued by someone from behind the veil, this world, or the person that believed you were alive in the first place has to not believe you are alive anymore. That's what was my case." Hadrian then launched into a long explanation about dying the hard way, how a person can be held captive in what he called "portals."

"So, say I apparated to a portal, I could find my wife and bring her back?" I asked, thinking of Lily.

"Ar," Hadrian replied. "If only it were that simple. You see, in order for your wife to come back you would have to know where to apparate to, wouldn't you? You'd need to have been there yourself."

I gulped. The punchline of every joke.

"So there's no way I can get her?"

Hadrian thought about that for a moment and then broke out into a smile.

"Of course there is!" he shouted. "I'll take you there myself, right now if you wish!" Hadrian jumped out of his bed to edge closer to me. "Come on, James Potter! We'll apparate right now!"

Sirius began clapping. "Go, mate. Bring her here. I'll stay for a bit." Sirius smiled and encouraged me to go.

"I will," I said defiantly, and with that Hadrian and I apparated together- to the world of nothing. We were on a quest. We were _Questfallen._

**A/N: Thanks for reading and please review:D**_  
_


	6. The Vision

**A/N: Thank you to all my lovely reviewers! I know I' m a few hours late of one day (and yes, I can see the angry mob with the pitchforks) so here's today's portion! It's two chapters combined again. Funny- the more I'm writing this year, the more I realize that I really don't like _Questfallen _as much! Anyways, here you are my fellow readers. Enjoy :)**

**+Thanks to all the reviewers! I would give you all an amulet against Voldemort if I could!**

Okay, so maybe there isn't a way to get out. Yet.

Hadrian seems to be the type of guy James was. That doesn't mean I'm falling in love with him or anything, but it just means the bare basics. There's a few self portraits scattered around the room (as I said, Hadrian was a pretty lucky guy, he got to see himself _and _some supplies for when he was bored, as for my portal, I'd prefer Azkaban) where I see a stubby looking man but with shaggy honey- colored hair. Apparently he was obsessed with Quidditch, too, because all of his self portraits he carries a long broomstick. A few of them I notice a bludger flying towards him. Strange. That might have been the only difference between Hadrian Thompson and James Potter that I could see right now, James would _never _draw a self- portrait of himself being beaten. Heck, I don't think James has ever picked up a pen to draw, or write for that matter.

I know Dumbledore has been here before, considering he didn't even rummage through the picture. Dumbledore glanced around the room, as if looking for something. A Muggle phrase got caught in my brain. _Read in between the lines. _When was the last time I had heard that sentence? Oh, yes, that's when dearest sister Petunia was telling me why I was such a freak.

"Why do you hate me?" I had asked her one day, I had been in fifth year. Petunia stared at me with her blank, dark eyes.

"Isn't it obvious?" she asked me this time. I continued to stare at her.

"No, it's not really."

Petunia coughed and started laughing. I had never seen her laugh before. It was high pitched and like a hyena. I hate it.

"Read in between the lines, Lily!" Petunia gasped in between laughs.

That dang sister of mine.

Dumbledore took down a picture on a wall, it was a diary entry of Hadrian Thompson's that somehow got framed. I glanced at it quickly, since Dumbledore thrust it near me. It wasn't that interesting at all, Hadrian just blabbered on and on of how he missed his Quidditch team- no mention of family, nothing. It was quite a dry piece of literature if you ask me.

Suddenly I began thinking of who I missed. I missed mum, and I missed dad, although they had died two years before my "death." I missed Alice and Frank. I missed Sirius, and Remus. I missed so many people. But mostly I missed Harry and James.

As my thoughts wandered over to James- my body felt an earthquake tearing it apart. Suddenly, I felt weak. The next thing I knew I was on the floor, my eyes keeled back.

"_What is this madness?" a voice asked. It was of a young man who seemed to be very lost and confused._

"_This is what her portal used to be, but for some reason she's not here anymore. She couldn't have died in that time, or gone back to live so quickly, she's probably in a different portal now."_

"_She- she left?" the voice inquired, disbelievingly. _

"_I'm afraid so. We can continue looking, if you want," the other voice chimed in._

"_No," said the first, "maybe she's sleeping. Or fainted, I don't know. I won't leave this place just yet still knowing there's a chance she's here. Come look with me, this place isn't so big, we can feel around for her."_

I opened my eyes. Dumbledore was hovering over me. I could smell his breath; it was sticky and a bit repulsive. What did it smell like? I could automatically identify it as a Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans, but couldn't decide on which one. It smelled a bit like- dare I say, ear wax? Whatever it was, I knew that I didn't like it.

"Are you alright, Lily?" Dumbledore asked, offering his hand and helped me up. I nodded.

"I- I think so," I said, stammering. "But I saw two people in my portal! Two- hang on, it was James! James and- and some other guy! They're in my portal! They're looking for me!"

Dumbledore stared at me.

"Lily, I think it's just that you want James so badly you're having so-called visions of him-"

"No! It's real!" I gasped. "I saw him, Professor! I know I did!"

Dumbledore smiled and began to walk away. I heard his mouth whisper, "ah, must love be this way," before he parted to the other side of the room and I felt like crying. If only I had tears to shed.

"Let's apparate back, Dumbledore, please," I pleaded. "James and some other person are there, I know it, I feel it, Professor. I'm not that crazy, you know."

Dumbledore continued smiling and looked through the hole he had made while taking Hadrian's diary entry down. He peered into it, declared it as nothing of importance, and picked the frame back up. With a simple non verbal, no- wand spell, he had the frame back up to cover the hole in no time. I stood, impressed, but wouldn't say anything about it.

"Of course you aren't crazy, Lily. I never said that you were."

Dumbledore then continued to rake off any small piece of work that Hadrian had put up in his small little portal, yet a very cozy one indeed. Poor Hadrian, I wonder what he would think if he would see Dumbledore damaging all of his junk. I smiled to myself a bit, thinking of what Dumbledore would say, but then immediately choked it back. I was _not _going to smile. Dumbledore wasn't listening to me, and I was right!

"Yes, so can we go now?" I said rather hastily. Dumbledore, however, still wouldn't see eye-to-eye.

"Lily," he began. "Actually, I'm quite impressed where you're thoughts are right now. I mean, you're thinking of James, but James's fate you already know about, don't you? You don't think for a second about your son, Harry?"

I snorted.

"You already told me he was fine, Dumbledore," I said. "But can you tell me about James? No."

Dumbledore smiled. He ceased his work and stared at me. "Well, I wasn't really talking about Harry's personality or his friends or who he looks like more. I mean to say, his future. For instance, his future battle with Lord Voldemort."

I stopped thinking all about James at that moment. James and I had known since before Harry was born about the prophecy, we had known that he or little Neville would have to stop Lord Voldemort. We knew that. I just didn't know it would have to be so soon. Harry was barely seventeen, anyways! It was his birthday for crying out loud! He was only just an adult, and I couldn't let him fight Voldemort, I just can't. So what if he's beaten him before? He shouldn't have been up against that! It wasn't his fault James and I had "defied the Dark Lord thrice before" that was all on our parts! If I had known I never would have done, well,goddam _anything!_

"Dumbledore, he's seventeen years old-"

"And has already proven himself more trustworthy and done more than half of the Order!"

"I don't care! He's seventeen years old! He can't be put up against_ Lord Voldemort, _Dumbledore! I don't care if he beat him when he was one, or eleven, or twelve, or fourteen, or fifteen! He can't do it, Professor! I won't let him!" I shouted, half in tears.

"Lily, you do realize he's going to have to, don't you? There's no other hope! And how are you not going to let him? You're somehow going to float back down there and scold him although he thinks you are clearly dead?"

I stopped crying. Dumbledore was right it seemed. But there was no way that I could let Harry fight. I wouldn't. I couldn't. He was my son!

"Whatever," I reasoned, "I'm going to find James."

With that I apparated back to my own portal- only to find it empty. The way the wind blows, this is not turning about to be my best day stuck in this portal hell.

Okay, so I guess that was a stupid idea.

**JAMES- PORTAL**

"James, you're wasting time!" Hadrian gasped. "Apparation doesn't work here like it does in our world! It's timed! After so long we have to go back to our original place, meaning back to the dead world."

"So?" I asked. "We can just come right back you now."

Hadrian acted as if he didn't hear my last comment and looked me in the eye.

"Lily isn't here, James Potter," he said.

Dammit! Why does he always call me _James Potter? _I mean, he's not exactly my enemy (he's helping me find my wife!) so he doesn't have to call me Potter (with the only exception being teachers, of course). And Prongs is reserved for only Padfoot and Moony (once Moony dies and I get to see him again, of course), but still, I'd be fine being called goddam James. Considering that's my name and all. I crossed my fingers hoping that Hadrian wouldn't find out my middle name. Ah, yes, I can imagine it now, "Mr. James Harold Potter, I need to speak to you!"

"Alright. Fine. But she could have been."

Hadrian had on a sheepish smile. It was one of those told-you-so smiles that Moony would give Sirius and I after we both were sentenced to detentions. I swear, that guy must have been a prefect in his day he seemed so bossy. He grabbed my arm and then instantly I noticed that both of us were apparating to somewhere new. As we got there, my eyes started blinking uncontrollably. I could see!

"What is this?" I asked, looking around the room. "It looks like my Hogwarts room, although mine was a little messier." I laughed, thinking of all my galleons blown on Zonko's.

"It was my portal, and it seems we have company."

Hadrian turned around and motioned towards a shabby man with a great, long silver beard. He had beady eyes and stared at the both of us unknowingly. One of his hands was completely dark, and his eyes were filled with sadness. My heart instantly felt for him. However, then something in my brain clicked. No-, it couldn't be. But it was. Professor Dumbledore.

"James?" Dumbledore asked, rubbing his eyes. I nodded.

"Hello," I said rather shyly. Hadrian snorted. He knew that I wasn't the shy type by now.

"Lily was just here, I told her not to go, maybe you can find her-"

I gasped. Lily was here? She had been here moments before? My heart skipped a beat. I was going to find Lily! I was going to bring her to the land of the dead! Oh, Lily, I'd missed her so!

"Where did she go?" I asked immediately. Dumbledore sighed.

"Ah, if only I knew," he replied. "She ran off a while ago, not too long before you came, seconds even. She said she, what was the phrase? Ah, yes, she 'sensed your prescense in her ex-portal' and apparated off back there after a little feud with me. Apparently she doesn't want Harry fighting Voldemort even if it means that the whole Wizarding World dies."

"Dumbledore, you don't really think that Voldemort is greater that Grindelwald, do you?" Hadrian asked. Dumbledore smiled.

"I would expect you were here, Hadrian. I haven't seen you in years, hello again. What a touching reuinon. However, I think the worst conflict at hand is getting Lily and I out of these portals- don't you agree?"

Hadrian and I nodded of course. We had both come to find Lily and rescue her, and wound up with Dumbledore. I had heard that Dumbledore died, but I wasn't sure that he was locked up in a portal like dearest Lily and Hadrian before her.

"So I take it we can apparate back to the other portal, and find her there?" I asked anxiously.

Dumbledore nodded. "I presume so, we can try." My face lit up. Lily! I'm coming! I'm coming to get you, after sixteen years we can be together once more!

Dumbledore, Hadrian, and I quickly apparated back to Lily's old portal- the portal that I now loathed and despised (why couldn't I see a dang thing?), yet I didn't find Lily. Nowhere. Could she have gotten lost apparating? Suddenly my worries and woes were at it again. _Well, _I thought to myself, _you've had a small, sweet success, James, you really have. Lily isn't so far away. And then you can hug her and kiss her until nothing else matters in the world anymore. _And that was the only thing that kept me from a mental breakdown.

**A/N: So review? I deserve it :D You get amulets :P**


	7. A James By Any Other Name Still Smells

**A/N: Okay, last update for today, I promise!**

**Anyways, this is usually the chapter that collects the most reviews, so I'm hoping it'll do so again. I know I shouldn't update again. As repeated over and over, I kind of want this story finished with :) Lol. And hopefully no one will argue with me for putting it up.. ehh?**

**Oh, yes, and the amulets. -Passes amulets to Yuni, MUDBLOOD, GinnyLover14, and Krizue-**

**Disclaimer: n. This means I don't own anything. Thanks.  
**

"James," I thought over and over again. "James, James, James, James, James!" My mind was racing. I needed James. I was thinking of his name over and over again. He probably wasn't in my portal anymore, so I decided to think of where clever James Potter would go. Take me to the place where James is, I thought, while apparating. Go, go go!

Suddenly I wound up in a strange portal. It was big, about as big as the Gryffindor common room, and five times as tall. I looked around, a bit scared. Where was I? And, most importantly, where was James?

I continued to look around. I looked up. Heck, anything could have been up. It was thick with spider webs and other tosh that I couldn't get past. Forget Gryffindor Common Room. That ceiling looked like something worse than Salazar Slytherin would have made, even.

Suddenly part of the ceiling began to move and I jumped back.

"Who's there?" I coughed into my hand after dust had enveloped my body. I was coated in this grotesque stuff, lost, and in some strange person's personal space! Way to go, Lily, I thought, you are officially equal to a burglar. Congratulations. You get your official diploma to be a Marauder tomorrow. If tomorrow ever comes.

"Ah, it is a damsel in distress!" came a voice from up on the ceiling in a thick British accent. "Who is this fair maiden to wander into this poor doomed man's place?" I almost laughed at that one. Clearly someone was full of themselves.

"My name's Lily!" I shot back up, my neck already ached from looking. "Lily Potter! Who are you?"

Right after that I saw a man tumble down from on top of the ceiling and I gasped. He was covered in sod, everywhere, everywhere I saw sod, and I am not kidding. Worse than when James and Sirius made Snape land into a gigantic mud puddle.

The man stood up and dusted off of his pants. He stared at me and smiled. I still had no idea who he was. He brushed a bit of sod from his lips with a nearby rag, and took my hand. Instantly he began kissing it. I jerked my hand back and put both of them in back of me. No way was some strange little man who lurked on ceilings kissing my hands!

"Lily, Lily, Lily," the stubby little man said. "I take it you don't remember me"

No, not in the slightest, you disgusting toerag, I wanted to say. Never touch me again- you have no permission, I will sue you… or worse, hit you with those purple bunnies…

"Er, no," I replied coldly. "Sorry."

"It's alright, m' lady, alright indeed. I'll be a showering, and then I shall come back." With that the man scampered off, and the next thing I heard was the sound of rushing water.

No fair, I thought, he gets a huge room and a shower?

After a fair few minutes the man returned, and I instantly realized that I had known him at some point. What was his name… Ian… Ethan.

"Iago?" I said after a while. "Iago Steen?"

The man smiled. "The one and only," he replied. Iago Steen. I hadn't seen him for years. He died a little bit before me, on duties in the Order. We dated a bit before James and I were together in fifth year, but other than that nothing was really serious between us, although Iago stayed infatuated with me until his death. I wondered why I had landed in Iago's portal; it was clear enough that I had wanted James's. Suddenly the idea struck me. Duh! I thought. Iago is James in Welsh and Spanish. "So, er, how have you been?" I asked stupidly. Yes, way to go Lily. You sound like a bloody kappa.

Iago smiled and looked at me. "Oh, I'm just peachy. Hanging off of ceilings. Love it to death, you know"

I laughed, although I'm not sure if Iago was being sarcastic or not. For one thing, Iago definitely chose words that I could identify as being sarcastic, yet his tone was completely serious. I was baffled.

"Sounds nice," I said. Iago put his arm around me (get it off, get it off, get it off) and we began walking to one of his couches. It was emerald green and certainly didn't match with the rest of the room, yet I think I would've killed for it in my portal. Heck, I wouldn't be surprised if Iago had full access to floo powder and such. "So how have you been, Lily? Haven't seen you in centuries it seems." I nodded. About twenty years.

"I'm looking for James," I said almost at once, "have you seen him?"

Iago shook his head no.

"James? James Potter? Why in the bloody hell would you be looking for him?"

"We're married," I told Iago. "James and I are."

Iago gave me a look of terror. He had died when James and I were together, yet not married yet, and he always had a strong hope that I would break up with James and be with him. Yet, obviously, that never happened.

"Oh." He seemed to be crestfallen.

For a while we talked a bit, I told him that I might know the way out of the portals if I could get a hold of James. I told him about Dumbledore, about Voldemort, about Harry (to whom he was very interested in). Once I was done talking Iago told me about how much he missed me, regretted it when we broke up, and began kissing my hand some more. At first I wanted to rip him right off of me. But now it felt kind of good, and I just let him continue.

So at first this was fickle failure on my part. But it could be worse, right?

**LILY- LATER, IAGO'S PORTAL**

Okay, so I guess Iago has grown on me. Maybe a little bit. Maybe a lot. Okay, so maybe a lot.

I've never been the type of woman that valued cooking or cleaning or being a stay-at-home housewife. Don't get me wrong, I admire women that are ready to give up their life to help out with their homes, husbands, and children. Yet being with Iago was so different. I just wanted to please him, wanted to make his every moment with me special for I knew that it wouldn't last too long once we were rescued by James.

"So, tell me how you 'died' again," Iago pestered. He found it very entertaining, the story of my death, especially the part where I said that James passed away, and would always clap, but then see my angry face and stop.

"No, you," I retorted almost automatically. "You haven't told me your tale just yet."

Iago smiled sheepishly and grabbed me. He began nuzzling his mouth with my hand again (which I have grown accustomed to) and then began playing with my hair. Butterflies flew rapidly in my stomach. I'd never imagine my "death" being like this- with Iago. I'd always imagined it with James behind the veil. (Yes, I know all about the veil. I was an Unspeakable, after all).

"I was one of the first of our year to work for the Order, as you know. Dumbledore put me on a mission to eavesdrop upon Lucious Malfoy, that pale, blond thing a few years ahead of us. He saw me sneaking around and killed me."

I covered my hand with my mouth.

"I'm so sorry," I said and hugged Iago. He smiled.

"Not as devastating as you, though. At least I didn't see the one I love die."

I looked at him. "And who's that?"

Iago smiled and played with my hair some more. I didn't ask anymore questions, we continued to talk about our lives after Hogwarts, and we remembered a bit from fifth year. After a while I noticed that Iago slid down to the floor.

"What's wrong?" I asked. I'd never seen someone so gracefully fall, but why did he fall in the first place? It's not like someone was pushing him off of the couch- certainly not me, at least, I hope not. Iago licked his lips and stared at me.

"This is wrong," was his reply. "It's wrong of me to have to do this with no ring."

My eyes bulged out. A ring? What did he need a ring for? And why was he perched on the floor…. Ohhhhhh.

"Iago, you do know that James and I are married, right?" I asked him.

Iago nodded. "Yeah, I supposed so. But, he's dead right? And you're not?"

"Not yet," I corrected him.

Iago smiled. This must have been exactly what he was thinking of.

"The line is 'til death do us part.' So, technically, you guys aren't still married, right, Miss Lily Evans?"

My fingernails curled at that. I hadn't been called 'Lily Evans' for years, and it was strange to not hear my name followed by "Potter."

"So, will you marry me?"

I heard a crack in the room. What was that? Maybe just something from the ceiling exploded- it was possible. As I've said, anything could be up there just crawling around. I felt numb thinking about it.

After a long silence I gulped and nodded. There goes the crack again.

"But James,- only if we can't find James, okay?" I asked him. Iago nodded.

"Anything, Mrs. Steen."

That name was repulsive.

What have you gotten yourself into, Lily?

**A/N: Hehehehe. -awaits reviews-**


	8. Caught

**A/N: So here is the next update! I know it's short and I probably should have combined chapters... but I think I'd rather just keep you lot in suspense.**

**Review please? I have delicious and nutritious virtual cookies? -passes some out to the people that have already reviewed, with a message saying "REVIEW AGAIN OR DIE" on it- :D**

Dammit, Lily!

I always imagined the day that I'd see her glowing face again, her soft, red hair, her luscious emerald green eyes. I'd dreamed of her. There wasn't a moment where I didn't think of her. I needed her; I missed her; I loved, no, love her. And what does she do? She gets _engaged!_

Engaged to a man she has barely known. Engaged to the man she broke up with for me! Engaged to somebody she swore to me back in sixth year that she'd never be with again, that I was her one and only. And now she's engaged. And in case I didn't say that word enough, _engaged. _

I've been looking for her for so long. I've risked my death-life to find her in one of these portals, and then she runs off with Iago Steen. Well, I hope she's happy. I hope she's happy being "Mrs. Steen." I hope they have a great death together.

If she thinks she's getting help from me, she's wrong. I don't need her. I don't need Lily, her funny, witty jokes, her love and compassion- oh, Merlin, what am I saying? I love her. I love her and she doesn't love me. I feel like I'm fifteen again.

"_Will you marry me?" _

The voice ran through my head. Dear Merlin, get it out! If I would have been a few seconds earlier- if I hadn't spent so long gazing at Dumbledore and wondering if he was really real, I could have whisked Lily away back behind the veil and we'd have had our happy ending we always knew would happen since Voldemort came on Halloween. Would she have still loved me though? Still wanted to throw her arms around me and kissed me? I doubted it. She has Iago now. He's a wannabee me and she knows it. I'll show her. I'll-

_Who are you kidding, James, _a wretched voice rang though my ear. _You love her; but she doesn't love you. Get over yourself, you're just an amazing Quidditch player with amazing hair. And muscles. And you're athletic. And your son is the biggest hope to the Wizarding World. And you died in order to protect the two people you care most about- your wife that hates you now and your son that doesn't even remember you._

She seemed so old when I saw her, even older than Sirius. Not by much, but I could see a wrinkle on her face. If she stood next to me people might think she was my mother, not my wife- or ex-wife. Whatever.

"You're back already, James Potter?" came a voice, I noticed it was Hadrian. I nodded.

"Alas, Hadrian, James has experienced something tragic. Wait for him to tell us his story, do not demand it from him," came Dumbledore's voice sounding much like a Muggle shrink, "but, do keep in mind that I am very intrigued to know what you have to say."

I nodded once more.

"I saw Lily."

Hadrian's eyes became huge and bright. Then he cast a glance to both of my sides and in back of me. I could tell he was looking for her. After all, wasn't Lily our whole purpose of the venture here?

"She was with Iago Steen, an ex-boyfriend of hers. And, he- he- he-" I couldn't bring myself to say it. No, I couldn't. I wasn't going to allow myself to admit defeat, I wasn't going to admit to being beaten by _Iago Steen_ who never played a game of Quidditch in his life and had had hardly any friends. No way.

I saw a twinkle in Dumbledore's eye.

"I take it that he proposed?"

I nodded.

"And she said yes." Dumbledore's glare never left my face.

I nodded once more, not being able to bringing myself to face the facts. There was no way I could picture Lily (even an old version of her) with anyone else but me. Hadrian came back and wrapped his arm around my shoulder.

"It's alright, James," Hadrian said. I noticed that there was no additional "Potter" in his sentence. So here I am, James Potter. I'm on two feet. But when will I be able to start walking again?

**A/N: Poor James! So close... and yet so far to meeting each other again. Maybe next chapter they will? And at least now we know what that crack was at the end of last chapter. So... please review :) Thanks!**


	9. Kiss of Death

**A/N: Okay, I know it's later today than most people would have imagined me to update but I was walking around the beach with a few friends today and was kind of preoccupied :) So thanks to all reviewers, here's your cookies :)**

**Disclaimer: If I owned anything of Harry Potter, it would be Malfoy thanks.**

"Mate!" cried an exasperated Sirius. He rushed towards me and enveloped me inside of a huge hug, my left cheek rubbing into his massive and dog-like arm. "Prongs!" Sirius grabbed my head and started rubbing it with his fist. I nearly cried out.

"Padfoot," I yelped weakly. My entire body was shaking. Sirius then released me and I took a gulp of fresh air. Ah, I had felt like a fish out of water.

Sirius took a glance at me and to my sides, my back, my front. It reminded me vaguely of Hadrian's inspection as soon as I came back from that dang imposter's portal. Knowing that Lily was nowhere in sight Sirius didn't say anything. He knew that I'd open up to him eventually.

"So, anything new?" I asked Sirius. "Any new editions? Please tell me Voldemort is dead…"

Sirius laughed.

"I don't think Harry has gotten that bloke yet, mate, you know that. He's ambitious, but I don't think he's as ambitious as you were." Sirius prodded my stomach and we both did our secret handshake that we had made up when we were eleven years old.

For a while Sirius and I just stared at each other. I valued how Sirius didn't ask anything about Lily for he knew it was not going to be a pretty answer (well, Lily is pretty, but not Mrs. Steen), yet I knew inside of him it was a strong, burning question. Sooner or later I knew I'd have to spill it to him. I pick later.

At that moment Fabian Prewett walked into the room, his reddish- blond hair seemed to have been shampooed extra or something. Sirius and I were both staring. We would have never been able to make our hair like that, and no, we're not gay, but we both love to be ladies' men.

"Top of the morning to you, Sirius, James," Fabian said as he took the coat that he had been wearing off and hung it on one of the racks. "It's Sunday so you know what that means!"

Sirius broke out into a huge smile.

"Tarot cards day!"

Sirius brought out a few tarot cards. Fabian, Sirius, and I had never been exactly good at Divination, but it was still fun all the same. It wasn't really magic, and for a moment we could feel like true Muggles and escape what was in the rest of the world(s). I picked up my first tarot card.

"Oh, Sirius, this is bad, it seems that you shall be devoured by an overgrown eyebrow come Tuesday because of a bad bout of the Wizard's Pox." The three of us broke out into fits laughing. Sirius then picked up another card.

"Fabian, watch out for a gigantic octopus because it might envelop your skull and banish you to a doomed fate," Sirius read off playfully. Tarot cards are basically our enjoyment instead of Wizard's Chess, because some poor souls actually believe that they are true.

"Alright, James, are you ready for your future?" Fabian said in a mystic voice. He took his wand (_lumos!_) and stuck it right under his chin to create a scary effect.

"I think I can handle it," I said, smoothing my hair back with my left palm. "What has it got in for me? Pieces of gun that turn into man- eating rodents?"

Fabian smiled and looked at the tarot card, quite amused.

"Ah, it seems that our Jamesy has gotten himself into a pickle!" Fabian laughed while tugging on my left cheek as a joke. I fell over my chair laughing.

"Damn it, don't tell me that the man- eating rodents turned into Snivelly," I said. With that I wrinkled my nose and pulled my hair back. When I open my mouth next my voice adopted a high-pitched sneer.

"Oh no, it seems that Defense Against the Dark Arts is _canceled!_" I sneered. Everyone burst into laughter harder than before.

"No, apparently you will have your one true love stolen from you by a crazed madman," Fabian said in between a snort. He and Sirius started laughing once more. Honestly, if someone had walked into the room they might have thought we were six years old reading _Magical Madness_ comic books.

Sirius looked at my face to see if I was laughing and saw me entirely serious (and don't say that Sirius-serious joke, it gets old). When he saw I wasn't he nudged Fabian to stop. They both then stared at me.

"Wait a minute, you don't mean- Lily?" Fabian asked.

"Speak of the devil," I replied angrily.

Sirius draped his arm around my back.

"It's alright, Prongs, you don't have to talk about it now-"

"LILY DUMPED YOU!" Fabian burst out.

I slunk down into my chair.

"Fabian, he doesn't want to talk about it now-"

"No, that's alright, Padfoot," I cut into Sirius's words. "Lily didn't really dump me exactly. She got- er, she got _engaged _to Iago Steen."

Fabian and Sirius gasped at the same time. I told them the whole story. How I had just apparated into the portal, excited to find my precious wife, and find out that she has stripped away the "Potter" from her name (and me from her death) to be replaced by Iago and the surname "Steen." They were a great audience, pitying me in all the right places.

"What happened to Dumbledore and Hadrian?" Sirius asked. He seemed pretty shocked that Dumbledore had died.

"I don't know. I think that they are still going to try to find other people that they can rescue, but they're still in portals."

There was a silence for a long time that ruptured between the three of us, hollowing us within. It felt like a long drumming. It wasn't peaceful at all; uncomfortable. I wanted to squirm around or make a noise to call attention to something other than "Poor James, his wife ran off with someone else," but I couldn't drain that thought out of my mind or anyone else's, for that matter.

"James, you know you have to go rescue Lily eventually, right? Maybe she has some sort of explanation…" Sirius began to say, his voice trailing off.

"Maybe you're right," I replied. "We can apparate there right now, if you want," I said. Sirius nodded. He looked at Fabian.

"Are you coming?" Sirius asked him. Fabian shook his head no.

"Nah, it's alright, I'll leave this adventure for you and James, won't I? Come back though!"

I nodded, and at that moment I apparated Sirius and I to Iago's portal. For a moment we didn't see Lily or Iago or anything. I looked up at the ceiling. Yup, this was definitely the right place. Sirius looked up, too, and seemed pretty amazed.

"Whoa," he said into my ear. "Now this is fun! Imagine playing Quidditch up here!" I laughed. Sirius was never as good of a Quidditch player as yours truly, but he still loved the sport all the same.

"So should I shout Lily's name, or what?" Sirius asked. I shook my head no.

"I want to catch her off guard," I replied. We began tip-toeing and being as quiet as a mouse (I've never understood that expression, mice squeak, after all) until I saw her- Lily. I could have stared for hours at her flawless (yet old) face, her beautiful features. Suddenly I watched Iago join her on the couch (they hadn't noticed Sirius and I yet). I wanted to kill Iago, he was sitting too close to her. Lily rested her head on his shoulder and I felt like barfing.

"I take it that's the jerk?" Sirius asked. I nodded. I could hear quiet laughter coming from Sirius, and I shot him an angry James Potter look.

"Sorry, it's just funny that she's marrying _him, _he looks like such a loser, doesn't he?"

I got a closer look at Iago and began laughing quietly, too. He was wearing messy red overalls and a striped yellow shirt. In fact, I would have said he was a clown if anyone had asked. Iago looked so pathetic I almost was glad. Yet another part of me wondered why Lily would choose him over her dear James Potter.

Suddenly I saw Iago bang his head into Lily's cheek and she motioned away.

_Yes! Go Lily,_ I thought, _Take that Iago, you perverted kiss- seeking freak! That's what you get for messing with my girl!_

I didn't even correct my thoughts then. I loved her. She had to still love me, yet I wasn't sure if I could forgive her if there was no explanation- and then I saw it. Iago's face got closer and closer to Lily's until finally I saw their lips meet. Lily's eyes bulged out in shock, until she started kissing him back too. Not long later they both were engaged in an immense kiss. I jumped our from behind the couch where I had been hiding. At that moment, Lily's eyes met mine, and she instantly pulled Iago away and threw him to the other side of the couch so he wasn't on top of her anymore.

"No, James!" Lily yelped. "James! It's not what it looks like- it's it's-"

I had never seen Lily at a loss of words before.

"It's worse?" I asked. Lily began shaking her head no.

"You have to listen to me, I didn't mean to- Iago, you tell him! Tell him, tell him what I said!" Lily gasped, her face turning purple. Iago sat Indian style with a satisfied expression on his face.

"I see you have met my bride-to-be, Mrs. Lily Steen. We're getting married soon," Iago then pressed his lips into Lily's again who looked away almost directly after.

I had heard before of the expression "kiss of death." And now I really know what it means.

**A/N: So I hope you liked it! Please review for the great prize of a brownie!**


	10. New Identity

**A/N: Well, I updated late again... damn those friends I've got, eh? And I apologize to continually leave you all off at cliffhangers- I do have to say, that is what usually gets the most reviews. Anyways, prizes go out to BlackAndWhiteConverse, thestralwhisperer, GinnyLover14, ThisChickNamedAsh, Yuni X-2, and IAMaMUDBLOOD for reviewing :)**

**Disclaimer: If you think I own Harry Potter by now, you belong in St. Mungo's. **

Oh dear Merlin, how long had James been there?

Had he been there for the whole kiss? Or not? Or _what _exactly? And what did he think? What did he know? And, Merlin's beard, why the hell did Iago say that I was getting married to him? Did he not forget my one and only condition on marrying him?

"Excuse me?" I asked, right after Iago's sour lips pulled away from mine (or more as, I pulled away from his sour lips). "Iago, er, _sweetie, _did you not remember what I said after you proposed?"

Iago looked delighted.

"Why of course, my dear!" To my distaste he planted a kiss on my cheek, and I rubbed it off. "You were so happy you were speaking in some sort of deviled tongue!"

His mouth trailed all over my face and I stood up.

"Get your ruddy lips off of me for one moment, you," I said menacingly at Iago, and then took my wand out from my pocket. I pointed it at him just in case. "I never did love you, you know."

James snickered in the background.

"Oh, yes, Lily, it seems you never loved him, you were just passionately kissing him and getting engaged to him for no apparent reason after all. Isn't that right, _Mrs. Steen?_"

I clasped my hand to my mouth.

"James, no- I have to explain, I don't- I'm not- I mean-"

"Why Lily," Iago said in the background. "It seems you are speaking in tongues again. Please do speak normally, we do have guests, which we don't come across often it seems." Iago then went over to one of the cabinets in his kitchenette (as I continue to marvel, he is so damn _lucky!_) and pulled out some wine glasses. He then took out a some butterbeer and began pouring.

"So, you two, how do you like your drinks?" Iago asked.

Sirius coughed, and it was at that point that I noticed Sirius was with James.

"I like it without wife- stealing snitches, thanks," Sirius said with a smile on his face. He pretended to drink the butterbeer and started to cough, or pretend choke.

Iago, surprisingly, smiled.

"How strange of you of all people to make that assumption, Sirius. Why, wasn't it only a few decades ago that you yourself were crushing on Lily when your best friend was trying to get her all the same?"

I gasped. Sirius had liked me? That was new.

James turned around to face Sirius.

"You liked Lily?"

I felt my face turn red and ache all over, I felt it grow heavy and I wanted to burst into tears and hug my knees as if I was a little girl. I couldn't speak to James. After years of not seeing him I hadn't been able to regain speech at his very sight. And Iago, that traitor. He had been so kind to me before, but now I knew it was all for nothing. He was every bit as much of a fool as the next guy.

Sirius, too, seemed embarrassed.

"James, I was sixteen, I never did anything!"

James still stared at Sirius like he was meeting someone new. I stared at Sirius as well. It wasn't everyday you find out that the Best Man at your wedding had a crush on you.

"Whatever, it's alright, I have bigger vermin to deal with," James said and did a secret handshake with Sirius. I almost gagged. They spit into their own hands and then shook on it. Of course, having lived with James for nearly five years, I knew all about it, but I was still utterly repulsed by it.

It was then that I noticed that I hadn't been much in the conversation.

"Iago," I said, "our 'wedding' is off. It was never on. It was never on because James is here."

I walked over to James and rested my head on his shoulder. James brushed me away.

"What's your problem, Lily?" he asked. "Go back to the man you are _engaged _to, why don't you?"

I think it was the first time my eyes had become teary since my "death." I looked at James, my bottom lip quivering. I was scared and cold. I remembered our first date in December of sixth year, and he had offered his jacket to me. Right now James looked pretty comfortable sporting the very same one, the Gryffindor Quidditch team jacket with the name "Potter" on it. It was strange that I had been wearing the exact same thing before from a man who obviously hated my guts now.

"Oh, I'm afraid that that shall be impossible," Iago said. Sirius, James, and I turned around.

_What? _I thought. _Okay, if Iago is making up some strange idea now that I had already married him- he was WRONG. There was no way I would marry Iago- ever- if James was here and ready to save me. The only thing that I really liked about Iago was memories, and he was somebody I could be with, somebody I could relate with. I am not engaged to him!_

"For you see, I am not Iago Steen."

I saw Iago's face begin to rupture and I gasped.

James was behind me and gasped. He grabbed me in his arms so that Iago (well, not anymore) wouldn't be able to grab me and run off. I snuggled up in his arms.

"Lucius Malfoy."

I don't really remember who's voice declared that it was Lucius Malfoy in front of all of us. I think it might have even been mine. Or it could have been James, or Sirius, or Lucius himself. It could very well have been anybody, we were all in so much shock, and I kept on shivering at one thought in my head, _You were engaged to Lucius Malfoy. _It made me want to hurt myself. To kill myself, had I not been dead already. It paralyzed me completely. I could not tell James about the only condition in which "Iago" and I were to be wed, I was too excited and angry to see him once more. Yet still, being in his arms made me melt inside. I pressed my nose into the sweater in fear of my death.

"What do you want with Lily?" James asked, spitting the words out. Lucious smiled a toothy smile.

"Me, Potter? I want nothing to do with your Mudblood Lily. It is the Dark Lord, I am afraid, that does." Lucius smiled and made a lunge to grab me. James draped his arm around my back and held me still, I had my wand pointed at Lucius. I could have said any spell I had so desired, yet I wanted to know the story.

"Well, you see, I killed myself over my period of time in Azkaban upon the Dark Lord's wishes, so, for that I never lied to you. He knows about the portals, has always known about them, and has been intrigued by them. He said that if he believed me to be alive I would get stuck into one. And so I did. As did you, upon his own doing." I shuddered.

"At that point I had to intercept all of your thoughts, Mudblood. When I knew you were apparating I had to send you to my portal- or Iago's portal, if you will. Poor blubbering idiot, all I had to do was capture him and make an extremely strong Polyjuice Potion. It was easy.

"So, I knew you were looking for James at one point and I thought to myself- 'this is good timing.' I sent you at the same time you apparated to this portal here, and introduced you to Iago. It was easy, as I say again, extracting memories from that idiot Iago Steen. He had never practiced occlumency before in his life."

Lucius stopped and cast an all- knowing look at me, then at James, then at Sirius, all of us three who's mouths had dropped open entirely.

"What does Voldemort want with her, then?" Sirius asked.A good question. One I had been thinking of myself.

"Ah, it seems that the stupid get stupider, Black. Is this Mudblood not Harry Potter's own mother, the same mother that kept him alive through her own sacrifice? Indeed she is. The Dark Lord believes that he can find a way to kill Harry with her, thus having a clear field for eternal life." Lucius took a sip of his butterbeer.

I gasped. He wanted to kill Harry? Well, that was much was obvious, but suddenly I had immense loathing for myself if I was the key to Voldemort's eternal life.

"Well, you can't have her. Lily and I are a team," James said. He hugged me closer and kissed the top of my head.

"Actually, I can. Considering I did propose, she is technically engaged to _me_." Lucius smiled and began to drag me by the hand.

"NO!" I shouted. "That's not fair! Remember? I told you that I would marry you, well, Iago really, but I said only if James never came to rescue me! And he did!"

Lucius smiled again.

"Oh he did, did he?"

I nodded.

"That's him, isn't it?"

"Well, little Miss Lily _Malfoy_, (my my my, you are one to change surnames, aren't you?) I think he came here to see you with your new husband rather than, uh, _rescue _you so to say."

My fingers curdled and I looked up at James. His eyes had pure sorrow in his eyes, and I knew that it was true, what Lucius had been saying.

"Come now, you Mudblood."

At that moment I felt my wand taken from me and thrust at the floor, as was James's. Lucius grabbed my wrist and pulled me out of James's grasp. Before I could do anything else the two of us had apparated to somewhere new.

Dammit is a good word to be inserted here.

**A/N: Well, finally the story gets interesting! So please review before I go all corny TV commercial on you! Thanks!**


	11. Diagon Alley

**A/N: Okay, I updated rather fast now, didn't I?**

**So I take it from your reviews you guys didn't enjoy last chapter. Ah well, I'm sorry to hear that... I really hope you all like the rest of it though, which is about five chapters more if I do recall correctly. I do appreciate all the honesty I've been getting though! That's been great! You all are amazing reviewers!**

**So I hope you enjoy :)**

Oh dear Merlin, oh dear Merlin, oh dear Merlin.

Lucius can't keep me trapped here forever, I know that. He needs me to help him with the Dark Lord in killing my one and only son. That bastard. Well, we already knew that.

I have no idea what place this is, but I'm sure I've never seen it or ever want to see it again. I can assume that it's another portal, but a stranger portal still. The walls are gray and glossed over with a coating of thick moss, all tangled about around the windows and such. I can't see anything through the windows, though. I tried to look outside when Lucius wasn't looking and saw nothing but black (not Sirius) and the dim lighting of something that reminded me terribly of the moon, yet I knew it could not be.

I tried to contact everybody by the power of my mind, knowing that Dumbledore could have done it a long time ago. I tried James. I tried Sirius. I tried Remus, Petunia, Harry, Dumbledore, the majority of the people that I knew. No such luck.

"Come here, Mudblood," Lucius said at once. My fingers curled at that name. Mudblood was a terrible derogatory name for someone who was muggleborn, in example, me.

"Choke on a chocolate frog, Redblood," I snapped. I don't think I have ever used the term 'Redblood,' but it is equivalent to 'Mudblood' in insulting. Redblood means that a person is a pureblood wizard or witch, yet it curdled at their line. I smiled to myself.

Lucius, however, was not impressed.

"No need for cheeky comments, _Lily_, then. Just come."

Unwillingly, and probably by magic, I began walking towards Lucius. He smiled at me and took my hand, then starting kissing it, just as Iago would've (I mean, the Iago that Lucius impersonated). I tried to jerk my hand away. Curse those stupid Unforgivable Curses.

"Now, sign here," Lucius handed me a quill and a paper. I stared at it. It was a Marriage Certificate! I gawked at him, trying to fight the Curse, trying not to make my hand slip and sign, until at long last I had to snatch the quill right out of Lucius's grasp and sign my name on the paper.

"Good, and now we drink."

Lucius handed me a goblet full of dark green liquid. I glanced at it and back at Lucius, who had already put an identical goblet pressed against his lips, and then taking a huge sip. He noticed me being reluctant.

"Oh, don't worry, it won't kill you. Unfortunately the Dark Lord has not yet bestowed upon me that honor. Drink up."

Slowly, and, yes again, unwillingly, I brought the cup to my lips. Slurp, swallow. It tasted like an icy fire, if that was possible, and I immediately tried to find a place where I could throw up, until, finally I was somewhere else. Lucius was next to me, holding my hand.

"Welcome back to Diagon Alley," Lucius said. "What a wonderful reunion, don't you think?"

I glanced around and nearly gasped. Diagon Alley? What did this mean, that I was alive? I put my hand to my chest and heard it beating- I heard the _thump thump thump _that I had not heard for sixteen years. Oh dear Merlin, maybe I was alive.

I could spy Ollivander's at the corner of my eye, and I felt a teardrop gracefully fall from my eye (seeing as I could cry again). Everything seemed to be dead there, there was no way that Mr. Ollivander could have survived it, and I buried my head in my knees thinking of the funny old man.

"Top of the morning to you," Mr. Ollivander had said when I walked into the store with my mum, dad, and sister Petunia. Petunia cast a glance everywhere- she saw wands everywhere, and just stood there flabbergasted.

"I take it you are the new witch," Mr. Ollivander said to me. I smiled.

"Lily Evans."

After that Mr. Ollivander thrust many different types of wands at me and I played with them all, waving them around in my hand. Finally as I waved the third or fourth one a bottle exploded.

"Ah, it seems that you have undoubtedly much skill in the area of charms!" Mr. Ollivander cried as he started to hand to me the wand and collecting money from my mum's wallet. I hugged him goodbye and was off.

I turned to look at Lucius who had still been clutching my hand.

"So what do you want me to do?" I asked. "Frolic about and cause havoc to a clearly dead place?"

Lucius smiled. "Watch."

A few hours passed by and I began to peel the dead white skin off of my thumb, picking the sliver. It was my only entertainment. So far Lucius and I had only seen a little girl at the age of five with her parents who took her quickly into a Potions shop, and I wondered what was wrong with the little girl. When they came back out I noticed that the girl turned into a grown man around the age of twenty, and I was taken aback. Clearly Voldemort gave no mercy.

I had also spotted a stray dog that roamed the alley and barked whenever he pleased near the Apothecary. I didn't see the point in why the shops were still open, it wasn't like many people actually went in them.

After a long time of watching and stripping my thumb of all of it's dead skin I spotted a girl with big, brown bushy hair, a girl that I recognized yet did not at the same time. Suddenly it struck me. She was one of Harry's friends! I had seen her one day when I had been thinking of Harry!

Sure enough, a redhead male came into view as did someone who looked remarkably like James, and my heart wept at the thought of James. This had to be Harry. I stared at him, my eyes never leaving him, and I wished for that moment that I could be his mum and tell him to get away, to leave this place or else he's grounded, yet I couldn't with Lucius here.

Lucius smiled at me.

"I guess there's no use asking you to do the next task I have in store for you, so I am just going to make you."

I covered my mouth. No, not _another _Unforgivable Curse! But please, please don't make me do anything to Harry… he doesn't deserve this!

I felt my body being chucked out over the bush in which Lucius and I were spying at people in and I screamed. All of this unwillingly, of course. I didn't want Harry to notice me for anything, anything at all- he had too much to risk, he was the only one that could stop Voldemort after all. The girl with the bushy hair turned around and started to rub her eyes.

"What's that?" the girl asked, as she spoke I remember her name being Hermione. "Probably some little girls playing with each other's hair and one accidentally turned her friend's hair blue," the red haired male coughed, hoping to score a few laughs but was unsuccessful. Harry and Hermione gave him an evil glare.

"What?" the boy asked, and a name struck my thoughts; _Ron._

"Ron, that didn't sound like a little girl's voice," Hermione said. "I think we should go see if she's alright."

Unfortunately at that moment Lucius made me scream again, as if a billboard yelping "DAMSEL IN DISTRESS! THIS WAY!"

Harry looked at his two friends, and for a moment I just saw his eyes and thought that I was looking into a mirror. I had imagined what he looked like, saw it, even, and had heard of it from Dumbledore, yet I could not get over how green Harry's eyes were, just like mine. I smiled to myself, as if the green eyes were a legacy of mine.

The three began to trot over until Harry spotted me. I don't know if he's seen pictures of me before or anything, but I could tell that he recognized me and was quite clearly confused. The other two just looked at me as if I were any other person, worried, yet didn't really relate me to being Harry's mum.

Lucius made me scream once more. I looked at Harry, trying to read his face, trying to think of a way to break free from the spell until at last Harry recognized me as his mum. I wanted to cry, and I started to, but Lucius cast another spell to dry all tears erupting from my eyes unless he made me cry.

"Harry!" I screeched, but looking away. I had been trying to fight the curse, and looking away was the most I could do?

Harry cast a glance at me and his jaw dropped open. I started to hold my throat with my two hands; maybe my resistance against the curse was working! I'd hope that he would get the message. Harry continued to gap at me.

"Quick! Lucius Malfoy!" I gasped, the words escaping my mouth even though I had not even thought of them. At that moment Lucius popped into sight from the bush and stared at Harry and his two friends. They all gasped.

"Potter," Lucius sneered at Harry. "What a touching reunion. I take it you've seen pictures of your mother, have you not?" Lucius motioned towards me. Harry's eyes stayed fixated on me, and Ron and Hermione were both looking at Lucius.

"What-?" Harry started to say. Lucius gave off a half-smile.

"Yes, Potter, this is your mother. And might I say, she is such a pretty little thing, isn't she?" Lucius grabbed my throat. The next thing I knew was darkness.

**A/N: Oh, yes, I got a review asking why Lily couldn't break the engagement with Malfoy. Well, Malfoy is in league with the Dark Lord, so he is just a bastard that took Lily from James. **


	12. Newt Eyes

**A/N: So here we've got our pre-rescue scene! I really hope you enjoy this- one of my favourite chapters of this fic. Thanks to all my reviewers!**

**Disclaimer: ... I'm not going to repeat that again.**

"He took Lily."

I couldn't say the words enough; I kept on repeating them over and over again in my mind. _He took Lily, he took Lily, he took Lily. _My heart was pounding. He took her! And not even at her own accord, he took her when she was under _my _care! He took her right out of my grasp; right out of my reach- that evil, that foul, foul man! He stole my Lily from me after so long of being without her and taking her out of my arms!

"Prongs, I know. I have eyes," Sirius said.

I still continued to chatter.

"How do I go after her, Padfoot? I don't know where he is! I don't know where he took her!" I screeched, burrowing my head in my hands. Sirius stared at me and gave me his look of pity, the same look that he had given me numerous times before at Hogwarts when I had rushed into our dormitory upset because Lily had refused my offer to go out with me- _again._

"Well, I don't think that by just moping around here you're going to find her," Sirius said. "Maybe we should find Dumbledore and Hadrian and ask them about this mess."

I nodded, however unhappily. Yet, at that second I heard a crack and turned around. Wow. Perfect timing. Well, perfect timing if it was indeed Dumbledore and Hadrian.

"I see we meet again," Dumbledore smiled a toothy grin. It was the first time I had ever noticed his teeth; they were always consumed by a huge beard, and it was a bit funny to watch. They weren't white and clean as I'd imagine them to be, being the greatest wizard of all time's set of pearly whites. Instead they were yellowed. Gross, even. There were tiny white spots clinging to the edges, and finally I realized why Muggles might need dentures, sort of like a fake set of teeth. Lily had told me what they were and I had scoffed at that idea, "Can't they just get implants?" I had asked.

"The rich can, but not all people can afford it and are willing to go through the pain," Lily had said. "But you know James; dentures are more than just to make your teeth look better, for some people it gives them teeth so they can chew." Lily and her little Muggles, always finding the most complex ways to solve simple problems.

Hadrian stood behind Dumbledore.

"We've found treasure in a portal!" Hadrian gasped. "We're rich! Richer than rich! We're bloody, dirty, not run-of-the-mill rich! Hallelujah!" Hadrian started to do a jig to a war dance or something, and if I wasn't so depressed I might have even laughed.

"I believe what Hadrian means to say is that we found some gold coins inside of a portal although it is impossible to snuggle out," Dumbledore stated, scratching his beard. "Is that right, Hadrian?"

Hadrian nodded however gleefully upon hearing such sinister news.

"Yes, but Dumbledore, I'm sure that impossible is only just a word! We can go and unlock the treasure from its portal of a captor and shall forever be happy!"

I thought about that. Nothing is impossible. And yet, they way Hadrian put it, the gold coins seemed a lot like Lily. She was my treasure, my beautiful, beautiful Lily, with a horrible, terrible blond captor. And I was going to find her!

"Have you found Lily yet?" Dumbledore asked. He looked at Sirius and me to read our expressions and was instantly taken aback. By now he obviously knew the answer.

"She got kidnapped by Lucius Malfoy!" I blurted out. "Surely you remember what a huge Death Eater he was- is, and don't you remember him at Hogwarts, Professor? He strutted down the hallways thinking he knew everything and that all of the school should bow down to him!"

Sirius snorted. At that I retraced my words and realized that it was also a clear description of myself. Still, Dumbledore didn't seemed to catch on.

"Yes, yes, James, I am quite aware of Lucius Malfoy and how he acts," Dumbledore said. At that point Sirius and I explained the whole story of how he (Lucius, not Dumbledore) snatched Lily from right under my nose (literally, though). Hadrian's eyes grew wide. I could see the pity beyond his pupils.

For a while all three of us stared at Dumbledore to see what idea he would come up with to get Lily back, and clearly he liked the attention. He would wander off topic to Hogwarts, the war, Wizard's Chess, Rufus Scrimgeour, Quidditch, and Bertie Bott's Evey Flavor Beans (for the war they have come up with new flavors, such as Death Eater which is so foul it makes the consumer throw up). Suddenly it seemed that an idea hit him.

"Lucius said he wanted to bring Lily to the world in front of the veil, the world of the living," he said, and Sirius and I nodded, "so that is obviously where we must try to find her. I do believe that there is a potion in which we may," Dumbledore said. "Either that or we will have to invent it."

A potion? That meant there was hope? I racked through my brain, no one had ever mentioned a potion that could make the dead living once more. Then again, it's not like they sit you down at Hogwarts and say, "When you are dead you are going to have to the worst death ever and need to know how to make yourself live again." I'm sure that's what the first wizard or witch thought when they died and found themselves lonesome behind the veil (only magical folk and venture there) until their friends joined them. I'm just glad I wasn't that person.

"It should be simple and complex all the same," Dumbledore said, his glare never leaving my eyes. "We can experiment with many different mixtures; however the final product should be dark green with the consistency of hot cocoa."

Hadrian stared at Dumbledore.

"Why?" he asked. "What makes dark green and hot cocoa so special, Dumbledore?" I almost applauded Hadrian. A very good question, one I had even pondering about to myself. Good job, Hadrian.

Dumbledore smiled.

"Green is the color of life, envy, and the earth. Life, being what we want, is essential in our potion, envy, envious of those who are living enough to become one ourselves, or a select person, and earth, being to the place we which to return to. The consistency of hot cocoa is neither thick nor thin and the perfect compliment to the potion in which we speak of."

I gaped at Dumbledore. Honestly, I always thought that Dumbledore wasn't too found of potions, of course Dumbledore was logical and smart, yet I never knew that he was as practical as to sit for a few hours and concoct a liquid. I was never one fond of potions, either, or any other Hogwarts subject for that matter. For me it was Quidditch twenty-four seven, and a bit of Divination (I just love the idea of bad news, don't you?).

At that minute Sirius and I dashed to Lucius's kitchen to see what potion ingredients he had. Surely if he was making the potion in the first place he had to have some here? Even if he might not have brewed the ingredients here, he surely had to have them if his original ones were flawed. We dashed through the cupboards.

"What have you got?" Sirius asked me. I looked at what was in my hands.

"A bit of tealeaf, some parsley, and tarantula venom," I replied, staring at the liquid in between my pinky finger and the only finger next to it. Sirius stared at his collection in between his arms as well and wrinkled his nose.

"Newt eyes," he said. We both stared at each other and pretended to gag.

Dumbledore soon came by to stare at what we each held. Hadrian, meanwhile, stayed rested on that wretched couch (the very same Lily and "Iago" were, er, having a bit of fun in until Sirius and I dropped by). He looked at what Sirius had first.

"Newt eyes," Dumbledore repeated. "Perhaps to see into lands unknown to any person here?" he asked, trying to determine logically why there was be newt eyes in the cupboard. He then proceeded to me.

"Tealeaf, the future beholds, parsley, flavor, and tarantula venom, something sweet yet has inner costs," Dumbledore said, making a mental note. "It seems that these ingredients are correct." I stared at him. How in Merlin's name did Dumbledore expect to even know how to brew potions, much less what they meant? Lily was always the one for potions, always the one that Slughorn admired, not me. I stared at him.

"Ah, give me that, James, Sirius," Dumbledore said. He then took out a pewter cauldron from behind him (where had he gotten that?) and started dumping all of the ingredients inside. I stared at him, trying to decipher the muttering, yet I could not. I saw him take his hand (not the blackened one that I had noticed) and start to mash the eyes (I almost puked) while mixing it with the parsley. I just stared, mesmerized, until Dumbledore was finished. When he was done I saw an emerald green potion right next to him, and I stared at it. Not even Lucius Malfoy could be so repulsing, it was bubbling and I almost backed away and killed myself if I weren't already dead.

"Take a sip," Dumbledore said, tilting the drink into my mouth. Surprisingly, I swallowed. I had a huge headache- and then I was gone.

**A/N: Liked it? Hated it? I want to hear! Please review!**


	13. Lord Voldemort

**A/N: This is another one of my favourites, besides the end, which I think will please you all. **

**Anyways, this is my second to last chapter that I have saved! Which means that we're almost done with this! -tears- But I think I can remember the rest of the story... and if I'm not much mistaken I'm missing two chapters and an epilogue, so I guess I can rewrite those and make it better?**

**Disclaimer: If I haven't proven to you by now that I'm not Jo, I'd like you to check into St. Mungo's for another few weeks.**

_Way to go, Lily, _I thought to myself. _Way to pass out when his icy cold fingers grasp your throat. Way to completely get yourself and Harry into so much trouble, could cause both of you to die, Voldemort to never be stopped, and the entire Wizarding World to fall completely apart. All because you wanted to stray away from Dumbledore to get James, when you found Iago, who was actually Lucius, who...  
_

Harry was near me, I could see him. He looked pained, and I shuddered at what I missed. All I could see was a dark, dreary place with candles everywhere, and I saw Harry turn to me. He stared me in the eyes, that horrible mirror imagery came back to me and a chill went up and down my spine.

"Hi," I said, shyly. Okay, what was that? Lily Evans Potter did NOT get shy; even if the "Potter" wasn't exactly part of her name anymore.

Harry gawked at me.

"M- mum?" he asked me. I nodded.

"This may be the only time I am not under Lucius Malfoy's control," I said, gathering speed, "so I want you to know right now that I love you very much, and I haven't been alive this whole time or else I would have definitely come to find you and have you live with me- I've been trapped in a portal, a state that isn't really dead or alive, for years, except Lucius Malfoy tricked me into coming here. Whatever you do, if Voldemort threatens you with me, do not, and I repeat, do not, listen to him; if I die properly then I get sent- well, I can't tell you, you're not dead yet and hopefully won't be for a while, but just do it-" I was explaining very fast and very low, hoping that Harry would catch on to everything that I had been saying. Meanwhile I looked at where I was. It was a really horrible place to be, if you ask me. Harry and I were both chained from our arms to the ceiling, our feet dangling and trying to reach the floor. It reminded me of something Filch tried on James and Sirius once in fifth year, the very same thing that almost got him chucked out of Hogwarts for good, yet I had to admit it was very entertaining to see the Almighty James Potter and Noble Sirius Black crying for mercy.

"Oh, Filch, did we ever tell you how much we hate Peeves?" Sirius whined. "We were on our way to talk to Dumbledore about chucking him out-"

"Quiet, Black, why don't you? It seems that you were making a nice detour up in the Divination room, which is so close to Dumbledore's office…"

"Well, we were trying to get some tealeaves to show Dumbledore what a menace Peeves the Poltergeist would be in the future, so we had asked Professor Margot if we could go up there and get some, and she said yes."

No one had ever known that prefect Lily Evans had been there, too. I was there reporting James and Sirius in the first place for stealing some of Professor Margot's (the Divination teacher at that time) supplies, and laughing as I saw the two boys cry in mercy. Yet now I knew their terror, and as I saw Harry I could have sworn I went back in time to see James tied up to the wall just like that.

"Hush, Mudblood," Lucius said, taking his wand. "_Silencio_!"

I turned to Harry and gave him an apologetic look, but then whipped my attention back to Lucius, the devil in a blond wig. Lucius stared at the both of us.

"Now, now, you two, I think you would want to be on your best behavior for the Dark Lord," he said. I covered my hand with my mouth (well, tried to, and then noticed that they were tied up to the wall), so we really were going to see Voldemort? Oh dear Merlin, please let this end well…

I saw Harry at the same time try to cover his scar with his foot (wow, flexible) and I saw him start to moan. That scar… he got that the night that I "died" I do believe, after all, lightning is the symbol of sudden death in Ancient Runes. I looked at him with great pity.

I then caught a glance of Lucius fall to his feet, he bowed down and stared at the man in front of him. I gasped! No, not Voldemort! Please don't kill Harry! I don't care about myself- I know what happens after death anyways, and I'm not scared! That chattering in my head (why can't _Silencio _be for your thoughts too?) plead, which reminded me greatly of the night I "died."

Yet now Voldemort seemed a lot different, and as he approached Harry let his foot down, he seemed to be relaxed now. I stared at Voldemort, his face and body enveloped by a massive cloak.

"Let the two go, Malfoy," Voldemort said. Was it just me or was his voice younger now?

Harry (who had also been put under the _Silencio _spell, my guess was when I was knocked out) had stopped fiddling around with his scar, seemed bewildered just as I was, and both of our eyes bulged out. Did Voldemort just say that his arch nemesis, Harry Potter, the one that had thwarted him many times before, could leave his clutches without being scathed, as well as his supposed- to- be dead mother? Instantly I knew something was fishy, yet fishy in a good way.

"But, the Dark Lord, your honour, this _is _Harry Potter and that Mudblood you wanted-"

"I said let them go."

Lucius, looking helpless, went over to Harry and I. First he untied Harry off of the chains and then me; we looked at each other and almost started singing of joy if only we could speak.

"You may be dismissed now, Malfoy."

With that Lucius, looking helpless, started walking away however annoyed. He cast a look of terror to Harry and me, and then departed behind the walls. I stared at Harry as we embraced. It was then that I noticed both of us were crying, and even though we couldn't exactly speak, there was no need for words. However, we seemed to have forgotten about something. Voldemort had not left.

Voldemort approached us two and started stroking my hair, started playing with it. He rested his head on my shoulder. Umm, gross much? Especially when that's the most evil person to ever live, why is he ON MY SHOULDER? I jumped back in surprise.

"Lily, it's alright," the voice said, relieving us of the silencing spells. I then went to go see who it was.

"Harry, how did you get into that costume?" I asked my son, but then I stole a glance at him, but I then noticed that he was in the exact same place he was before Voldemort approached us.

"Dad?" I saw Harry mouth. I then looked at "Voldemort." Oh dear Merlin, it was James! Thou hath been saved! (At least, I think that's right… we were supposed to learn Shakespeare in Muggle Schools, Grade 11).

"James?" I asked, rubbing my eyes and staring at whom I believed was once the Dark Lord, also known as Voldemort. He smiled and ruffled his hair back with his arm, his pearly whites flashing in all directions. Harry and I just gapped at him.

"The one and only," James said and grabbed me as he kissed me on the forehead. Then he looked at Harry and smiled.

"Sirius was right about you then, you _do _look like me," James said and embraced Harry. Harry was trying to wiggle himself away as if he was stunned or something. Of course he should be! It wasn't every day that your dead parents came to pop in and say hello after sixteen years (almost your whole life!), get you into trouble with Death Eaters and Voldemort, only to find out that the Voldemort you thought was evil was your father pretending to be him! I hugged Harry, too.

"James and I can stay for a bit, and then we'll have to go back to death like it was, Harry," I said, playing with his hair. He stared at me.

"Then you really are my mum- and dad?" He asked, looking up at both of us. I nodded as did James.

"Are you Harry James Potter?" James asked. Harry nodded as if that were a stupid question.

"Then yes, unless Lily was cheating on me which I highly doubt considering that you and I look completely alike and Lily would not do such a thing back then, I think it is safe to assume that yes, we are your parents," James said. I snorted. Since when was James acting so smart? And why in Merlin's name did he say that I wouldn't cheat on him "back then?" I still wouldn't! Not with Iago, or Lucius- or ANYBODY! If only he had heard that fucking condition!

"James-" I started to say but was cut off by him.

"Not now, Lily, can't you see that this is a very rare opportunity for us indeed? We get to talk to Harry! Harry, our son!" I don't think I had seen James so happy… well, I can remember, but I won't get into the details about _that_, he might have even been happier than when I said "yes" to him after I constantly rejected him each passing day.

"Yes, but James, be careful, lower your voice, I don't think that it might be wise-"

"Oh come off it, Lily! It's not like he would be coming by now, he'd have to yell at Malfoy first, wouldn't he, for losing us?" James asked. "No, I'm telling you, he'd go straight to Malfoy."

"Straight to Malfoy?" a voice asked. We turned around- looking directly into the face of Lord Voldemort.


	14. Avada Kedavra

**A/N: Ah! The first chapter of Questfallen that I had to write something new! Lol. Until the break of the story, I had everything typed up, so the final part of this chapter I had to make new. And after seeing _Phoenix _last night I just had to include Bellatrix, because my loathing for her was rekindled once more.**

**A crazy amount of thanks goes to my wonderful reviewers! And as a reminder, I know can accept anonymous reviews, so post away!**

**Disclaimer: I didn't even know how to pronounce "Hermione" when I first read the book eight years ago. So if you think I own it... yeah. **

The three of us Potters then saw Voldemort- the real one, I knew because this time Harry clasped his hand to his scar and was moaning painfully. I went behind him and started to massage his forehead, my poor son, so discomforted! He mouthed "thanks" to me as I helplessly tried to strip away his pain.

"It seems that you don't know me well enough, Potter- Potters," Voldemort said, spitting out our last name. "For I am Lord Voldemort, and I always do as not expected."

James was in a good mood.

"Okay then, why don't you back off, because that's not expected!" he cackled. I stared in terror at him.

"Or why don't I kill you and change my streak of unexpected dependability?" Voldemort asked and I saw James's face fall. He didn't fear death, of course, but he did indeed fear not being able to ever see Harry again (until Harry dies, of course).

"I'd battle you, you know," James said, a bit scared now. "I'd never join you!"

"Of course you'd never join us, how can you join us if you live two dimensions away?"

I wanted to cover Harry's ears, he wasn't an Unspeakable and he wasn't dead, he wasn't supposed to know about the three dimensions (well, sort of, more like two dimensions and a veil), yet I still couldn't. I was too scared for James.

"Ah, trying to protect the innocent, Mudblood?" Voldemort sneered. I stared at him.

"Ah, trying to threaten this 'Mudblood,' Half-Breed?" I retorted back. Suddenly I realized why James was being so defiant, what was the worst that can happen, we'd die? Oh, I am so scared of that. It's not what we'd been living in for so long. And someone needed to stand up to Voldemort.

"I think I am," Voldemort replied, "and seeing as you and your dear husband, or shall I say, ex- husband, are being so very- er, amusing (not) and are clearly wandless, I am going to have to cut this little visit here with Harry short as I kill James."

Voldemort turned to look James in the eye.

"_Avada Kedavra_!" A jet of green light protruded from Voldemort's wand and I gasped. James's face fell; he knew what was happening but still continued to perish anyways. I watched as his limp body suddenly hit the floor, his scream never leaving his body and echoing all over the room. I gasped in terror; Harry did not need to see that _again, _and I thought, _By Merlin's beard help me survive, I can't put too much trauma on Harry, I can't have him go through both of his parent's deaths twice, and he's going to be so confused for the rest of his life if I don't take a little while to explain everything, which could lead him to foolish acts such as killing himself. Please don't have me say any more cheeky comments! If I make another comment quite like what James said, or as I said before, the Half-Breed comment I might as well commit suicide!_

Harry looked up at me as he saw James die as if saying "don't die too." I couldn't help it. I started to shake; trying my best to not cry, why couldn't I have been dead then so I wouldn't have to worry about tears?

"What do you want with Harry and me?" I asked Voldemort. One thing I knew that Voldemort loved was talking; he could drabble on for hours at a time, almost like Dumbledore. Of course, I couldn't compare anything else from Voldemort to Dumbledore besides power and courage. They were complete opposites; evil and good.

"Frankly, I want to kill Harry," Voldemort replied, "It seems that he just loves to have our little encounter, and then a chitchat, and possibly a duel almost once every year. With you on my hands, I can torture Harry a bit more."

"That's stupid; I can just sacrifice myself so Harry will be protected again from you! You can not touch him!" I yelped. Voldemort, however, smiled.

"And who's blood did I use to create my new body?" he asked. I didn't know. Why was Voldemort asking me such a stupid question? I then looked at Harry's face and saw that he knew the answer- for reasons unknown. "Mine," Harry said in a clear voice. I shuddered, knowing that it had to be true, and then I realized that my blood also was in Voldemort's body, as was James's. My blood was pouring through the veins of the one that had killed me, killed many, tortured more- it was as if a part of me was him, and I had to fight myself.

"Now, I feel like being amused, and maybe Lucius can redeem himself, so, Mudblood, why don't you duel with him?"

"Playing with snakes is my specialty," I said. _And I am about to kick ass, _I thought.

Then Lucius appeared, apparently his Dark Lord had been angry when he had been mistaken for James. He bowed at Voldemort and then turned to me.

"Go on, bow," I said, talking to Lucius. "You have to. Common courtesy."

"Well, I guess I'm not so nice then," Lucius replied. He took out his wand and then I gasped. I didn't have mine! I looked at Voldemort to see if he'd offer me one. _Wait a minute, that's stupid Lily, _I thought, _you are going to trust the man that killed you and sent you to a portal for sixteen years in the first place? Someone's a bit thick. _

Voldemort then opened his mouth.

"Seeing as the Mudblood is wandless, why don't you offer her your wand, Harry?" Voldemort asked Harry. Unwillingly Harry waddled up to me and offered me his wand. "Good luck, mum," he whispered in my ear. "Thanks," I replied and hugged him.

I took Harry's wand, it probably wouldn't work as well for me as it did for him, but nonetheless it was better than nothing. I grasped it in my left hand (I was left handed, after all) and started to test it out, waving the wand ("_Lumos!_"). It wasn't so bad, probably not my first pick of wands, yet I could still master it. I pointed my wand at Lucius as he pointed mine at his.

If I were ten years old I might have laughed at all of this. I would've thought that I'd be scared for my life of a gun, or a bomb, or something like that, not a bit of stick and some magical creature core. If I had read about that in any book, I'd have thought, "Oh, I'm sure I could take it on, all I'd have to do is take my wand and call for the authorities to arrive." But it just doesn't work that way.

"_Crucio_!" Lucius yelped. The spell hit me all of a sudden, and I felt immense pain, this must have been what it was like to be Alice or Frank Longbottom. I started to fight the spell, and finally I could hold my wand while hovering in the air.

"_Diffindo!_" At that moment I saw Lucius struggle, trying not to have himself split in half. I smiled at that, and the Crucio curse wore off of me. And at long last I pointed Harry's wand at Lucius, knowing what I must do. All of my rage bubbled up inside of me, my rage of Iago, my rage of Lucius, my rage of that stupid marriage, of being kept inside of the portal, being ripped from Harry and everything else I loved,

"_Avada Kedavra!_"

Was that my voice? Oh dear Merlin I think it was, and then... something flopped to the floor and died. All I know is that I heard a scream of death. And I saw Lucius standing parallel to me, completely fine.

xXx

Lucius looked at me menacingly. "The Dark Lord," he repeated over and over again, "but his horcruxes? He shouldn't be dead- oh the Dark Lord, please come and save me now-" He continued to mutter to himself, pacing, his blond hair dancing in fear.

Harry's eyes bulged out, and then I instantly took recollection of what had happened. I had used the killing curse against Lord Voldemort. And he wasn't there anymore.

Out of the shadows came a rather grotesque woman, with long black hair and a wretched aura to her. I turned around. Bellatrix Lestrange. Sirius's cousin, who was a Death Eater that we all hated. I faced her, and she turned to Lucius.

"The Dark Lord isn't dead," Bellatrix told him lightly. "So don't be upset. Just kill the Mudblood and Potter and get it over with, the Dark Lord has instructed you to- it would help him greatly, only one more of his horcruxes have been destoryed… but certainly not all, so he'll live…"

I threw Harry's wand to him- knowing that he would be able to use it much more than I. And in his eyes, although the same exact ones as me, I could see James in them- his courage, his strength. He pointed the wand at Bellatrix.

"_Avada Kedavra," _Harry hissed. Bellatrix looked livid. She stared at him for a few moments, and then she was dead. Lucius seemed rather appalled. He appareted quite quickly, no doubt to reunite himself with his master.

"Harry, come," I told him, as he neared me. He was crying. He had never killed anyone before; and even though it was Bellatrix Lestrange, it was probably a hard lesson for him to master.

"She killed Sirius," Harry explained, "and she almost killed us. I- I had to kill her. But I didn't mean to feel this way." Harry began to cry again, and I wiped away his tears with my hands as we apparated away from the scene. Harry, who was able to apparate by now, took me to a place he called The Burrow, in which was his friend Ron's house.

Well, I guess I had a lot of explaining to do then.

**A/N: Okay, since I know I'm going to get lost of questions about this let me explain.**

**Lily killed ONE of Voldemort's horcruxes- the one he was currently using to regain his body. Harry killed Bellatrix- but Lucius, in fear of being killed by them too, retreated to go look for Voldemort again to help him immediately- not like the thirteen year gap between when the killing curse backfired onto Harry and he was reborn in fourth year... yeah yeah yeah. Just saying, in case anyone was confused.**

**So please review! There should only be a few chapters left. Thanks!  
**


	15. The Burrow and Behind the Veil

**A/N: It's short, I know, and sadly, this will be the last chapter that Lily narrates! -tear tear- I really hope you all read the epilogue though, which is the next chapter. It is rather funny, and I'm sure a lot of you will enjoy it greatly!**

**Anyways, thanks to all my great reviewers. Hmmm. Let's see. I'll give a set of Hogwarts robes to whoever can guess correctly who the next chapter will be narrated by! So basically, that's my way of saying to review.**

**Disclaimer: I'm as old as Jo's oldest daughter. Do you really think I am Jo then?**

We reached The Burrow, the house that Harry had explained was the new headquarters for the Order of the Phoenix. Harry tapped the door with his wand twice, and then a brown eye appeared in the looking hole.

"Harry, what's your patronus's form?" came the voice of what I supposed was Mr. Weasley. Harry shuffled his feet. "Prongs," he replied, and once Mr. Weasley had uttered "how airplanes stay up" Harry and I walked in.

I thought about Harry's patronus form. Prongs. That had been James. And instantly, I missed James much more than I ever could have imagined. I missed James ruffling his hair, kissing me on the nose and telling me he loved me. And I was going to see James again!

I had never known Mr. Weasley, considering the fact that he was eight years older than I, but I had often heard mention of him by Fabian Prewett, his wife's cousin. He smiled at me, although extremely confused as to what or who I was, and I continued walking into the kitchen. Obviously, he didn't ask any questions.

"Harry, Ron and Hermione are outside trying to owl you, but here, have something to eat first," said a plump lady who I assumed to be Mrs. Weasley. She looked up at me and smiled.

"Tonks?" she asked, as if she had no idea who the hell I was. I smiled. "I like your new look. It's very different."

"No," I told her, "I was in the original _Order. _I can't trespass on your hospitatlity for long though, I have to go back to where I was-"

Harry looked up at me.

"Really?" he asked, "not for longer?"

"I have to see James, sweetie," I replied, kissing him on the forehead. And as on the mention of James I saw a shabby looking man near us. He looked pale and peaky, and I smiled at him. The man noticed me and blinked a few times. He shook his head, as if he were seeing things or something. When I didn't go away, he yelled out to the rest of the order that I was an impostor here to steal plans.

"NO! No, Remus, _Moony," _I pleaded, "I'm not an impostor. I- ugh, I can't explain where I've been I certainly haven't been alive! But- look, if you still don't believe me, I'll just go back-" I said, edging the door. All I had to do was kill myself, and then I'd either a.) end up in a portal or b.) end up with James… either which I had nothing to fear if I knew how to portal jump.

"Wait," Remus comamnded, holding me back. "Answer me this: what did you want to name Harry, but James protested against?"  
I smiled. That brought back memories.

"Harvey," I replied, "only he wouldn't have it- saying that was the name for some fat little pampered boy." And Remus looked at me in awe.

"So then you really are Lily then," he exclaimed.

I nodded. "Lily Evans." Because when I'd die again to be with James, Lucius wouldn't be my "husband" anymore.

xXx

Time went by fast. At first it was an hour, then a day- a week, and then it was two. And it was then that I decided, after answering everyone's questions, that I had to go back to James. Everyone pleaded me not to go- but I had to. He was James. And I needed him. They told me they could use me in the Order- but I knew that wasn't true. This was Harry's destiny. And so far, I'd only been getting in the way of it.

On that morning marking my two week stay, I brewed myself a potion. It wasn't really a potion- more like muggle poison. I wanted ti poison myself, so that it wouldn't be messy and I would be just fine. I bid farewell to everyone. But the saddest part was saying good bye to Harry.

"You'll see me again later," I promised, "it'll never truly be good- bye." And with that we hugged, I kissed him on the cheek, and I left the Burrow, off to my original grave site anyways. The strangest thing was seeing my body there limp, knowing that I would put another one there, too. I clambered inside and drank th epotion. And then I was dead- but I was behind the portal.

xXx

"Doctor Yves," came a voice, "Doctor Yves! Can I see Lily Evans, please? I know she just came back- but I need to see her," came a voice from the other room. I recognized that voice. It was James.

Dr. Yves let James come in, and he found me in the hospital bed. He smiled standing there as awkward as could be, with a few bandages and ruffling his hair back.

"I'd reckon I'm the only dead patient he's gotten that's lasted in the wing for so long," James told me, "I kept on saying I'd wait for you, I'd wait for you, in my sleep, and he wouldn't let me leave."

I smiled. And then he clambered into the sheets, giving me a hug.

"I love you," he said to me. And I smiled. Because I loved him back. And nobody, not Iago, or Lucius, or anyone, would ever change that.

"I love you too," I replied, kissing him on the lips. He wrapped his arms around me. And then we were kissing once more- him gently sliding his hand on my back, and me completely happy.

And before I knew it we were- uh…. I bet anyone can guess what happened next. When we were done, he looked into my eyes and put my hair behind my ears.

"We're still married, shouldn't we be?" he asked, holding my hand. I nodded.

"But now the correct phrase is, 'to life do us part.'" And we both laughed, snuggling up against each other. Just the way it should be.

I got out of the hospital a few hours later, James's appearance seemed to have made me ten time healthier in dead standards, and James had only been there to wait for me. James wanted to introduce me to everyone, or, more for the reason, show me all the people I had once known and loved. "It'll be great," he said, talking about Sirius and all the Prewetts. But I just smiled.

"There's something I want to do first," I replied, kissing him on the nose. "Something that I've been wanting to do- and I think only a witch can do to a muggle."

I whispered into James's ear, and he smiled.

"We'll ask Merlin, then," he replied, and then went into an explanation of the real Merlin.

Oh, revenge will be fun.

**A/N: The last cliffhanger! Ah well. Remember to review! Next chapter up soon!**


	16. Epilogue

**A/N: I'm sorry I took a two day league of absence!**

**Thought I would just leave room for some more reviews :) And thanks to all! This marks the end of _Questfallen_, and I hope you all have enjoyed it. It's very short, but that's why it's the epilogue isn't it?**

**Also, anyone read that beginning of Deathly Hallows on Mugglenet? Gahhh totally got me freaked out. It's just a rumour though. **

How did I get here? One minute I was with Diddykins, him proudly showing me the rifle that Vernon got him to go out hunting. He was so proud… and then something went wrong and then I ended up _here. _I don't know what this is. It's nothing, I suppose. I'm in an empty room and I can't even see myself, nor can I feel myself.

But there is one thing that I can see. It's posted on the edges of the room, or so I'd imagine. At first I thought it was a door to get out. But it's not. It's a letter.

And it's a letter from my dear sister Lily.

I noticed her penmanship right away; messy, unorganized, like she had some magic quill to write it for her because she was too busy doing nothing else. I wondered how many years ago she must've written that- she's been dead for far too long, after all.

And then I read the paper.

_Dear Petunia, _it said, _Before I begin my letter, I will just like to say that I did not kill you, nor would I have wanted to- you have died of your own son's accord. And for hating me all these years, for hating my soon, for not showing my son love and compassion, you are now here, like I was, for sixteen years. Have fun. Love, Lily Evans Potter._

What does that mean?

That I'm- dead?

Nothing unusual is supposed to happen to me when I'm dead… I'm just suppose to not exist anymore…

I hate my sister and her witchcraft.

**A/N: So please review? Thanks!**


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